We're going to offer some really great benefits to our employees, like 401k match, bonuses, unlimited PTO.

We're going to offer some really great benefits to our employees, like 401k match, bonuses, unlimited PTO. Wow. It sounds like we really want to make this a fantastic place for people to work. Well... Well, what? Our goal isn't making it a great place to work. Our goal is making it a hard place to leave. Huh? So we'll give them a generous learning stipend, parental leave, per diem when they travel, airline, hotel status... That all sounds super nice. It sounds like people will be super happy and fulfilled working here. Oh, they'll wanna quit. Why? Everything you're describing sounds like a job people would never want to leave. Well we'll throw lots of money at them. That part is in our control. What we can't control is all the other variables. So you want people to feel handcuffed to their job because of the benefits? Did you say handcuffed? What if the handcuffs were... Temporary? No. Golden. It sounds kind of weird. Let me remind you of all of our offerings. Summer fridays, sabbaticals, a hybrid working model, annual salary increases, mental health benefits, access to therapy. Or, and hear me out, we could just have a workplace that doesn't make people feel like they're about to have a menti B. That is so creative. Maybe we should add some free art classes to our benefits for all those creative thinkers like you.