My unconventional college essay hook that got into every college I applied to!

I got into every college I applied to and I currently go to Duke and I think my personal essay is somewhat unconventional and it took so I'm gonna explain it and read it to y'all. My essay is about how I play the fiddle I busk on the streets of Nashville for tips during the summer and it started off with just a group of quotes of the things people say to me when I'm playing downtown. Keep chasing your dreams. My daughter wants to grow up to be a musician just like you. You're not loud enough. Do you have change for a 20? Your smile made my day. It's awfully hot out here. Here's a bottle of water. One day we'll see your name in bright lights. How much do I have to tip for your phone number? You're really not very good. You're incredible. These are the sounds of Broadway. My sounds of Broadway. After those quotes it goes into talk about my experiences playing downtown, how it shaped me as a person and how I always kind of gravitate to the unorthodox and do things outside of my comfort zone. Hopefully this helps someone.