have had a week or so to create your characters

have had a week or so to create your characters show me what you got yeah I'll go first I'm going to be a Fathomless "Warlock" I'm going to be a Fathomless sorcerer named Spider Yeah cool Alright great start but it's not just all water magic I'm also gonna have like Alter Self and all this transformative stuff that's gonna make me more and more like a crab over time Oh, um you can do that but this is a landlocked game like you know well yeah but my character just absolutely idolizes crabs so it's more like a spiritual thing uh, okay sure Joe, what did you bring to this table uh, yeah my guy's name is Blue and he's a Circle of the Moon Druid that grew up in a fishing village on one of those remote islands over to the West so talking about like how your small town upbringing kind of led you to have certain beliefs that are being challenged as you go through your hero's journey- and every single one of his Wild Shapes is from the order Brachyura to fit all sorts of situations wait wait wait. Brachyurans are just crabs all sorts of situations well like cutting stuff swimming and crawling okay, and you don't find that like limiting at all Oh, no no no on the contrary, Blue actually finds it quite freeing okay, yeah, you know what you know what, I think I've heard enough um, Laura please tell me you have something yeah, unlike these weirdos I have a Cleric named Ghost and she just goes from town to town preaching her religion Yes! Okay that's a little bit more normal for a Cleric and teaching people all about the plan that the Great Crab God has for us to become small and round and flat oh jesus #*&ing christ so we may all one day be remade in his crabby image okay what the #$% is this carcinization bit you guys are doing okay well first of all it's not a "bit" it's an inevitability no it's not that's not how carcinization actually works oh so we're just getting straight up heretical now? my character's not gonna like that y'know you cannot seriously be thinking about theming the entire party after crabs it's a landlocked campaign we decided to call ourselves the Decapod Squad holy #*&@- uh, hey, I haven't shared my character yet Lily, I swear to god if you tell me that your character's name is dungeness or some @#*$ I'm torching this campaign no, she's just a Bard named Fiddler okay see, that one makes sense who exclusively plays rave music I'm gonna speed up ocean acidification oh my god-