my "mother in law" died 2 weeks ago from stage IV cancer

@nhonsworld

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Why it worked

The video likely resonated with viewers due to its raw emotional honesty and the relatable theme of dealing with a loved one's illness and death. The creator's vulnerability in sharing such a personal and painful experience, coupled with the cautionary tale about medical communication, likely fostered a strong connection and encouraged engagement.

Summary

The creator shares a personal story about their mother-in-law's rapid decline and death from cancer. They recount the confusing and distressing events leading up to her passing, including misdiagnoses, misleading medical advice, and the difficult decision to move to hospice care. The creator expresses frustration with the medical professionals' vagueness and their own self-deception due to this.

Structure

1Introduction of mother-in-law's death from cancer
2Recounting the events of her last days, including a stroke scare and hospitalization
3Describing her deteriorating condition and the family's regrets about not intervening more
4The decision to move to hospice care and the reasons behind it
5Reflecting on the rapid decline and the frustrating medical experiences
6Sharing the story to help others be more prepared and have fewer regrets

On-screen text

my "mother in law" died 2 weeks ago from stage IV cancer my MIL died from cancer. this is what happened during her last days alive now that her safety isn't in question anymore as a domestic violence survivor I can share that her name was Tina she never got to pursue it but Tina loved to write, she loved horror and she wanted to share her personal horror story with the world for now I want to share her last few weeks because we had no idea how quickly someone could deteriorate from cancer and the doctors were very misleading honestly we have a few regrets from not realizing how little time we had left so my hope is in sharing this I can fulfill part of her wishes and also help other people not have regrets the last time my partner got to have a real conversation with his mom was on a Friday four weeks ago a few days later on Sunday just on a random whim he decided to go check on her he found her in the bedroom weak incoherent slurring her words he thought she was having a stroke so he called 911 and when they came she wet the bed and could not lift her left arm at all it was very scary turns out her glucose was at 33 and hypoglycemia can mimic a stroke the paramedics stabilized her said they didn't think she needed to go to the hospital but they can take her if she wants and Tina said no we respected her choice but looking back we wish that we didn't because it was all downhill from there she was still weak but able to walk to the couch ate a PB&J and just wanted to rest so we let her be and advised her to call her doctor the next day by Tuesday night she still didn't call her doctor so we finally realized that shit this is in our hands now because it seemed like her mind was gradually getting slower called the oncology office in the morning they didn't say anything about getting her to the ER and squeezed us in for a Friday appointment Wednesday was a bad turning point she was very weak could not sit up without getting tired and needed to start using adult diapers Friday, still weak so we had to hire medical transport to get her to the hospital oncology said that she should consider hospice because it didn't seem like she was tolerating treatment well and there were no other options they had us take her to the ER to get her admitted to at least get her sodium levels back up it was very scary and disturbing watching her deteriorate especially her mind they were slowly stabilizing her electrolytes first it was she didn't know what day it was like she thought the date was 10 days before she didn't realize she was audibly defecating in the middle of talking to my partner she started to make less and less sense said she was hearing voices and had blurry vision we tried to talk to the nurse but they gaslit us saying that it was just hospital stir craziness they didn't believe us until it finally got to a point where they found her standing up naked soiling herself one day she couldn't remember her name by her last day she could barely speak the hospice decision came down to my partner who had power of attorney it was a very haunting decision but we knew she was tired of fighting so he gave the green light for hospice which is no treatment no IV fluids just medication to make you feel comfortable as your body starts to shut down the really frustrating thing was how overly positive and vague all the doctors were they would be like "we just gotta fix her sodium levels" and then I would go on her mychart and it said kidney failure listen I may not be a doctor but I'm not a fucking idiot sorry I'm still so mad about this she was not on IV fluids and stopped drinking water you as a doctor should know that without water it's a matter of days especially with her kidneys failing don't tell us that it can be months before she passes so I knew it'd be a few days but I gaslit myself because of what the doctors kept telling us listen to your gut she passed away the day after the hospice decision was made it's really crazy how quickly she went from feeling great like she was doing really good two weeks before she passed it felt like her body just hit a wall and it just couldn't take it anymore I'm definitely traumatized from the past seven months so I'm going to be taking a break from social media except for my business account because silly me decided to start a mail club during the most stressful time of my life anyways I told you all this because I feel like nobody gets into the nitty gritty details if you're ever in a similar situation maybe you can be more prepared for it and have less regrets than we do

Original caption

(It was melanoma, please wear sunscreen.) I know nothing truly will ever prepare you for death, but this was my first personal experience with it. I had no idea what to expect even with how hard I tried to prepare us all. I knew that even while you're going through treatment, at stage IV, you can get suddenly taken out by a lot of things. Even then, I tried to be prepared for all outcomes, but nothing could prepare me for the false expectations, nonchalant attitudes, and gaslighting from medical professionals. (I am grateful for the few that did their jobs and actually listened to us.) I wish we trusted our gut. I wish we treated every goodbye as the potentially the last one. I hope this story helps someone someday. Unfortunately, it's not over for us. I also want to advise everyone to get educated & prepare early for what happens to assets after death. While we tried to get ahead of this, we did not have enough time to sort everything out. Our lives are stalled here for at least a year until we go through probate to sort out Tina's last will and testament. We think the best way to honor Tina would be to share her story. I'm not sure yet how to do this authentically, as her story involves a minor, her 17-year old child. We also found many writings left behind by Tina that are teaching us a lot more about her. I'm pondering between social media, reddit, and/or a book. This will likely have to be on hold until all the legal stuff is over. As for us, we're doing okay for the most part. Sad, but relieved she's not suffering anymore. My partner is more on the sad side and I'm more on the mad side. I just wish she got justice. Fortunately, we were able to fulfill her last wish of donating her body to science and rehomed her cat to a loving family. I'm pretty overwhelmed between the legal stuff, mail club, reno, and brand contracts so I think I'm going to take a month off from my personal content. Maybe more. Thank you to those of you who have been supporting us and those who donated to her GoFundMe (I have disabled donations). It made her very happy and gave her so much hope. Hold your loved ones tight and please take care of yourselves. #cancer #melanoma #death #dvsurvivor #storytime

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Transcript

my mother in law died 2 weeks ago from stage IV cancer now that her safety isn't in question anymore as a domestic violence survivor I can share that her name was Tina she never got to pursue it but Tina loved to write, she loved horror and she wanted to share her personal horror story with the world for now I want to share her last few weeks because we had no idea how quickly someone could deteriorate from cancer and the doctors were very misleading honestly we have a few regrets from not realizing how little time we had left so my hope is in sharing this I can fulfill part of her wishes and also help other people not have regrets the last time my partner got to have a real conversation with his mom was on a Friday four weeks ago a few days later on Sunday just on a random whim he decided to go check on her he found her in the bedroom weak incoherent slurring her words he thought she was having a stroke so he called 911 and when they came she wet the bed and could not lift her left arm at all it was very scary turns out her glucose was at 33 and hypoglycemia can mimic a stroke the paramedics stabilized her said they didn't think she needed to go to the hospital but they can take her if she wants and Tina said no we respected her choice but looking back we wish that we didn't because it was all downhill from there she was still weak but able to walk to the couch ate a PB&J and just wanted to rest so we let her be and advised her to call her doctor the next day by Tuesday night she still didn't call her doctor so we finally realized that shit this is in our hands now because it seemed like her mind was gradually getting slower called the oncology office in the morning they didn't say anything about getting her to the ER and squeezed us in for a Friday appointment Wednesday was a bad turning point she was very weak could not sit up without getting tired and needed to start using adult diapers Friday, still weak so we had to hire medical transport to get her to the hospital oncology said that she should consider hospice because it didn't seem like she was tolerating treatment well and there were no other options they had us take her to the ER to get her admitted to at least get her sodium levels back up it was very scary and disturbing watching her deteriorate especially her mind they were slowly stabilizing her electrolytes first it was she didn't know what day it was like she thought the date was 10 days before she didn't realize she was audibly defecating in the middle of talking to my partner she started to make less and less sense said she was hearing voices and had blurry vision we tried to talk to the nurse but they gaslit us saying that it was just hospital stir craziness they didn't believe us until it finally got to a point where they found her standing up naked soiling herself one day she couldn't remember her name by her last day she could barely speak the hospice decision came down to my partner who had power of attorney it was a very haunting decision but we knew she was tired of fighting so he gave the green light for hospice which is no treatment no IV fluids just medication to make you feel comfortable as your body starts to shut down the really frustrating thing was how overly positive and vague all the doctors were they would be like "we just gotta fix her sodium levels" and then I would go on her mychart and it said kidney failure listen I may not be a doctor but I'm not a fucking idiot sorry I'm still so mad about this she was not on IV fluids and stopped drinking water you as a doctor should know that without water it's a matter of days especially with her kidneys failing don't tell us that it can be months before she passes so I knew it'd be a few days but I gaslit myself because of what the doctors kept telling us listen to your gut she passed away the day after the hospice decision was made it's really crazy how quickly she went from feeling great like she was doing really good two weeks before she passed it felt like her body just hit a wall and it just couldn't take it anymore I'm definitely traumatized from the past seven months so I'm going to be taking a break from social media except for my business account because silly me decided to start a mail club during the most stressful time of my life anyways I told you all this because I feel like nobody gets into the nitty gritty details if you're ever in a similar situation maybe you can be more prepared for it and have less regrets than we do