Here are five indicators that show that you lack healthy boundaries.

Here are five indicators that show that you lack healthy boundaries. I'm Ghanaian and culturally we've been taught to be helpful, respectful and available for others. But we're never taught how to protect our own time, our energy and our well-being. So if you can personally relate to any of these five things I'm about to mention, just understand that you lack healthy boundaries and you need to do something about it. Number 1, you struggle to say no even when you genuinely don't want to do something. Someone asks you for your time, money or help and your first instinct is to say yes, not because you have the capacity, but because you're scared they'll be disappointed or angry. A healthy boundary says, I'm sorry, I can't do this now without any unnecessary guilt. Saying no doesn't always mean you're wicked. Sometimes you are just being honest about your limits. Number 2, you feel sorry for everyone else's emotions. Whenever anyone is upset with you, like you need to fix it, even when you haven't done anything wrong. You start apologizing, over explaining, or even change your decision to make them feel better. Understand this, you can care about how someone feels without taking full responsibility for their emotions. People are allowed to be disappointed by your boundaries. Their disappointment does not mean your boundary is wrong. Number 3, you constantly over explain your decisions. You constantly feel that every decision you make must be approved and understood by the people around you. You simply cannot say, I'm sorry, I won't be able to come. You feel the need to over explain, give evidence and even apologize for your decision. Healthy boundaries do not require everyone's agreement. Sometimes a clear, respectful explanation is enough. And sometimes you don't owe a detailed explanation at all. Number 4, you tolerate disrespect because you're afraid of losing people. Someone repeatedly makes hurtful jokes about you, they cross your limits, they talk down on you and ignore your feelings. Instead of you addressing them maturely, you keep quiet or you laugh along because you don't want to appear sensitive. Understand this, any relationship that only survives when you tolerate disrespect, it is being sustained by your silence. And the more you are silent, the more likely you will be constantly disrespected. A healthy boundary says, you cannot treat me this way and still have access to me. Number 5, you often feel resentful after helping people. So this is you, you help people, you support, you sacrifice, you are always showing up for people. But always after doing that, you feel angry, unappreciated and emotionally drained. This usually happens when your yes was not really sincere. You only agreed to help, while deep down you really wanted to say no. For example, your family consistently depends on you to help solve every financial problem. You continue giving even when it affects your own stability. Afterward, you become angry that no one considers your struggle. There is nothing wrong with supporting family and friends, but it's your responsibility to stop giving more than you can peacefully and sustainably. Boundaries are guidelines that teach people how to relate to you. They teach people what you will accept and what you will not tolerate. You can always still have limits. You can love people and still say no. You can support others without abandoning yourself. So here is something to reflect on, and I need you to be honest. Where in your life are you saying yes, not because you want to, but because you're afraid of what will happen when you say no. Think about this for a moment and share this with someone who needs to see this. My name is Kwabena Afriyie Akoto-Bamfo. This is just a brotherly advice and I'm only looking out for you.