Manager vs. Leader How to address someone who is disrespectful behind your back

Manager vs. Leader How to address someone who is disrespectful behind your back How to address someone who is disrespectful behind your back, like a leader, not a manager. Number one is, don't investigate. No, validate first. Manager says, I, I hear you've been talking about me. The leader says, look, I. I hear that there might be some frustration. Haven't been brought directly to me. I'd really like to hear your perspective. Don't start by trying to prove that they talked behind your back. Start by making it safe for them to talk right to your face. Is there anything that you've wanted to tell me but haven't felt comfortable saying? And then number two is, who wanna look for the leadership lesson here? But a manager says, you should have come to me. The leader says, I'm curious, like, what made talking to somebody else feel easier than talking directly to me? That answer is gonna tell you just as much about your leadership as it does about their behaviour. And then we wanna involve them, like, what could I do differently to. To make tough conversations easier to have with me? is reflected in the type of conversations that they're willing to have. PASSIVE RESISTANCE Agreement in meetings. Resistance after. Momentum disappears. Agreement isn't commitment. Pause before reacting IF THIS, THEN THAT THE RIGHT CONVERSATION FOR EVERY SITUATION Say THIS, Not THAT STOPPING GOSSIP CARDS FOR LEADERS SAY THIS, NOT THAT 52 LEADERSHIP LANGUAGE SHIFTS DON'T SAY DO SAY Oh, and real quick, if you're looking for leadership tools, the tips, frameworks, questions, activities, these say this not that Cards or the new if this then that cards, you can sign up here, get a discount, or click the link in my profile and start using them today. And reach out if You need a speaker for your next leadership event, or if I can help customise a half day or full day leadership workshop for your team. And then number three is, we wanna reset the standard without making it personal. Right? A manager says, look, if you have a problem with me, I want you to say it to my face. But a leader says, look, going forward, let's just agree that if either one of us has a concern, that will go directly to each other. The goal isn't winning an argument. No. It's creating a team where direct communication is the norm. It's who we are. Can we commit to bringing concerns directly to each other before we bring it to everybody else? See, managers focus on who said what, but leaders build a culture where people no longer feel the need to say it behind someone's back. And look, leadership is not a title, right? It's a fire. And we have the opportunity to ignite it, not only in ourselves, but in others. Now, if you like these little tips and frameworks, check out my profile and follow me.