One thing I really miss from my time in corporate sales is pretending that I didn't understand how our commission structure worked.

@ryanjamesahern

34.1K followers · usually 5.7K views a post

Views

160.2K

Likes

14.5K

Comments

250

Why it worked

The video succeeds by tapping into the universal, relatable frustration of corporate office politics and the 'us vs. them' dynamic between employees and management. The storytelling is highly engaging, using a specific, petty revenge narrative that keeps the viewer hooked until the end.

Summary

A corporate sales professional recounts a story about how he used to 'sandbag' his deals to maximize his commission. He describes a specific interaction with his manager where he pretended to be confused about a deal's submission deadline to ensure it counted toward the next quarter's bonus.

Structure

1Introduction to the concept of sandbagging in corporate sales.
2Explanation of why and how he manipulated the commission structure.
3Storytime about a specific interaction with his manager, George.
4The climax where he successfully delays the deal submission.
5The aftermath where he feigns ignorance about the cutoff date to his manager.

On-screen text

ONE THING I MY TIME IN CORPORATE SALES IS PRETENDING THAT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW OUR COMMISSION STRUCTURE WORKED SHOUT OUT TO IGNORANCE NOW LET ME BE CLEAR YOU SHOULD ALWAYS 100% UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS SO THAT YOU CAN MANIPULATE IT BUT SOMETIMES THE BEST WAY TO DO THAT IS PRETENDING THAT YOU DON'T EXACTLY UNDERSTAND HOW THINGS WORK SANDBAGGING IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SANDBAGGING IS AND YOU'RE NOT IN SALES CONGRATULATIONS BUT SANDBAGGING IS WHEN YOU PURPOSELY WAIT TO SUBMIT A DEAL FOR YOUR BENEFIT IN MY COMPANY A LOT OF REASONS TO DO THAT ONE IS JUST TO MAKE MORE MONEY ONCE YOU MADE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF COMMISSION FOR A QUARTER THEY WOULD START TAKING 50 CENTS ON THE DOLLAR SO WHY WOULDN'T YOU WAIT IF YOU COULD ANYWAYS SECOND TO LAST DAY OF THE MONTH THE DEMON WHO MANAGES ME SLITHERS UP TO MY DESK SHOUT OUT TO GEORGE BY THE WAY THIS IS THE SAME DEMON WHO'S BEEN SCREWING ME ON BONUSES AND RAISES AND ACCOUNTS FOR YEARS AND NOW HE'S LIKE HEY RYAN YOU KNOW THE TEAM COULD REALLY USE SOME MORE NUMBERS WHICH YOU KNOW LIKE I CARE ABOUT HIS TEAM AND HE KNEW I WAS WORKING ON A DEAL AND HE ALSO KNEW THAT IT WAS THE SECOND TO LAST DAY OF THE MONTH IT HAD TO BE PUT IN BY 12PM I OF COURSE ALWAYS KNEW THAT AND I WAS LIKE YEAH MAN WORKING ON IT REAL HARD JUST TRYING TO GET IT THROUGH AND THEN GET YOU KNOW THE APPROVAL FROM THE CUSTOMER SO HE COMES BACK AT LIKE 12 ON THE DOT AND HE'S REALLY NERVOUS HE GOES DID YOU GET THE DEAL IN AND I GO YEAH I GOT THE DEAL AND HE'S LIKE OH MY GOD CONGRATULATIONS HE'S SO HAPPY THEN HE WALKS AWAY I WAIT TILL 12:03 I SEND IT TO THE CUSTOMER SO NOW I KNOW IT'S GONNA COUNT YOU KNOW THE NEXT TIME AND WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN A WEEK LATER IS PROBABLY THE BEST ACTING I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE HE'S GONNA STOP BY MY DESK LIKE THE THIRD OR THE FOURTH OF THE NEXT MONTH AND BE LIKE HEY RYAN UM JUST WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT DEAL LAST MONTH I WAS LIKE OH YEAH YOU KNOW I ACTED ALL EXCITED AND HE'S LIKE IT DIDN'T COUNT I GO WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DIDN'T COUNT I GO I PUT THE NUMBERS IN I SEE THEM IN THE SYSTEM THE BILLING IS ACTIVE HE'S LIKE YEAH BUT YOU MISSED THE CUTOFF AND I WAS LIKE WHAT'S THE CUTOFF AND I REALLY DID A PERFORMANCE AND THEN I'LL BE LIKE WELL WE HAVE TO TALK TO COMMISSIONS OR LIKE WE HAVE TO BE ABLE TO DO A DISCREPANCY HE'S LIKE YOU CAN'T THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN BE DONE AND I'D BE LIKE OH MY GOD THAT'S CRAZY SO FUCK YOU GEORGE

Original caption

#sales #corporate #work #office #manager

More from @ryanjamesahern

Their other posts in the index, biggest breakout first.

Transcript

One thing I really miss from my time in corporate sales is pretending that I didn't understand how our commission structure worked. Shout out to ignorance. Now let me be clear, you should always 100% understand how it works so that you can manipulate it. But sometimes the best way to do that is pretending that you don't exactly understand how things work. Sandbagging is a perfect example. If you don't know what sandbagging is and you're not in sales, congratulations. But sandbagging is when you purposely wait to submit a deal for your benefit. In my company, a lot of reasons to do that, one is just to make more money. Once you made a certain amount of commission for a quarter, they would start taking 50 cents on the dollar, so why wouldn't you wait if you could? Anyways, second to last day of the month, the demon who manages me slithers up to my desk. Shout out to George, by the way. This is the same demon who's been screwing me on bonuses and raises and accounts for years. And now he's like, 'Hey Ryan, you know, the team could really use some more numbers,' which, you know, like I give any fucks about his team. And he knew I was working on a deal and he also knew that it was the second to last day of the month, it had to be put in by 12:00 p.m. I of course always knew that. And I was like, 'Yeah man, working on it real hard, just trying to get it through and then get, you know, the approval from the customer.' So he comes back at like 12:00 on the dot and he's really nervous. He goes, 'Did you get the deal in?' And I go, 'Yeah, I got the deal in.' And he's like, 'Oh my god, congratulations.' He's so happy. Then he walks away. I wait till 12:03, I send it to the customer. So now I know it's going to count, you know, the next time. And what's going to happen a week later is probably the best acting I've ever done in my life. He's going to stop by my desk like the third or the fourth of the next month and be like, 'Hey Ryan, um, just want to talk to you about that deal last month.' I was like, 'Oh yeah,' you know, I acted all excited. And he's like, 'It didn't count.' I go, 'What do you mean, what do you mean it didn't count?' I go, 'I put the numbers in, I see them in the system, the billing is active.' He's like, 'Yeah, but you missed the cutoff.' And I was like, 'What's the cutoff?' And I really did a performance. And then I'd be like, 'Well, we have to talk to commissions, or we have to be able to do a discrepancy.' He's like, 'You can't, there's nothing that can be done.' And I'd be like, 'Oh my god, that's crazy.' So, fuck you, George.