Post by @nikki.neisler

I lost my dad to liver failure from drinking alcohol 7/6/21 I believe he still lives through me. I recorded this video over a year ago, and I just rediscovered it on his passing anniversary and thought I’d share. Healing trauma isn’t easy. But as I’ve meditated, immersed myself in nature, and connected to God, I’ve found myself. I’m rediscovering who that little girl was that needed her father to be her dad. But he wasn’t. He was stuck in his own trauma, not knowing how to heal, so he numbed and drank. This generational curse ends with me. I will continue to heal my own trauma, learn how to regulate my nervous system, hold my inner child, and live a brilliant radiant vital vibrant life 🌞🌈 When my dad died, I said I would live a life big enough for the both of us. And whenever I’m in nature, I swear I can feel his presence so strongly. I’ve also found healing in knowing that his death wasn’t in vain, and that thousands of people have stopped drinking for their families because of me sharing our story on social media. I don’t drink (except for a rare occasion) and neither do my friends. Most people I know in Bali don’t. And that’s the most freeing thing of all. Becoming yourself. Being yourself. Without the liquid courage. Open up to life, to god, open your heart and let it in. I love you 🩷 - Nikki #sobercurious #losingaparent #grief #liverfailure #alcoholism