Bring back shame

A friend of mine recently told me that she was going to the Chris Brown and Usher concert here in the Bay Area. And I was really surprised because I thought everyone knew and understood Chris Brown to be the abuser that he is. Not just in the Rihanna situation, although that was bad too, but he continues to have a long track record of aggression and DV generally. I'll find the screenshots and add them here. And so when she mentioned this, I was like, why are we putting our hard earned dollars here? I do understand. It's Usher, it's Chris Brown. They have a lot of bangers. I can imagine that that concert would be such a fun time if it were not Chris Brown. And because she and I are really good friends, I kind of brought it up in a subtle, like, shady kind of way of, hmm, like I don't really know if we should be putting our money here. Maybe let's talk about this. Um, and, you know, we had the conversation, a few days passed, and she was like, I actually changed my mind and I don't think I'm going to go to this concert anymore because you brought up a lot of good points. And so that got me thinking that maybe we need to bring back shame. In our hunter gatherer days, whenever someone, a member of the community, didn't do something that was pro social towards the community, they were kind of shamed a little bit. We let them know that that wasn't okay, that we didn't love that. We still love them, they're not excluded, and that maybe their behaviour isn't something that we want to keep seeing in the future. And shame is actually a very, very good tactic, and one that I think that we have lost the art of. And that maybe has transformed into cancelling people. I was never going to cancel cancel her for going to this concert, but it did alter my feelings inside. And she's someone that I've known for a very long time and so I let her know. So maybe bring back shame. Bring back, you know, calculated shame.