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Things I did to push mom's buttons this week. Obsessively barked at my nemesis for 10 minutes straight. I do this so often, I even created my own mud track. Oops. Followed her to every room as she cleans. I'm the mess, but let's be real, she's the one leaving chip crumbs everywhere because her fat ass is always snacking. Decided her clean laundry pile was my new nap spot. Yes, I refused to move and even gave her a dirty look when she told me to scram. She had the audacity and tried to sneak in her room to enjoy some food in peace. Psyche, you can't escape the cheese tax, never will. Alone time? Yeah, I don't think so. Followed her in the shower and made sure to get soaking wet so she'd put me in my cozy bathrobe. Oh, this one I'm not proud of, but I'll humph and guess that when she put me in timeout, I tried to escape. Not my best work. Lastly, cuddled dad instead of her. This really gets under her skin. Haha. Follow for part two of my minute shenanigans.