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Things I do as an exceptional house hippo. I hear everyone load up. If the car starts, I'm legally required to be in it. I don't believe in running errands. They're called adventures and I'm coming. Every stranger is guilty until proven capable of giving me treats. Amazon, the mailman, girl scouts. Everyone gets the same warm and very loud welcome. I request outdoor access every 10 minutes. But if you take more than 5 seconds to let me back in when I'm ready, we're gonna have a problem. I don't believe in personal space. Every cuddle should include at least one human struggling to breathe. Why would we use two seats when one works just fine? I express affection at approximately 20 miles per hour. Follow for more evidence that house hippos are not for the weak.