So this month I made $32,343 and that has to do with starting a TikTok page and it blew up to 103,000 followers in the span of, I don't know, three or four months. And something that people don't talk about when it comes to money and the nervous system is that oftentimes we will make a promise with ourselves that we'll pay off our debt, we'll, you know, like start saving, we'll invest, we'll do this, we'll do that. And then the moment comes and the money hits the bank account, which it just did today is July 31st and the last of the money came into my account and I'm like, you know, counting the chips, like seeing how everything settled. And I'm like, this is it. This is the moment. I I prayed that I'd be able to pay off my car this summer and the remaining balance for my car loan is sitting in my bank account. Like more than that, way more than that is sitting in my bank account. And I I said at the beginning of the summer, I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I want to pay off my car. And here it is. It's sitting in my bank account. And what happens to most people is that I'm looking at next month and you know what my income is going to be? Because I'm in sales, so it's heavily commission based for my main job and then TikTok is fluctuates. I'm looking at living off of my regular like $4,200 next month. You know how big of a difference that is? And I'm looking at my bank account and I'm looking at the future projections and I'm just like, maybe I shouldn't pay off my debt. Maybe I should save it. Maybe I should invest it. Maybe I should do this with it, maybe I should do that with it. And that's a scarcity mindset. And let me explain the neuroscience behind this and how if you don't build trust in this moment, this is why money feels so anxiety ridden. There's a part of our brain called the anterior cingulate cortex and its job is to create a mental model or map of reality. And it's constantly checking our lived experience against what we like think is reality. And if I say to myself, hey, I'm going to pay off my car in full when I get this paycheck and then the paycheck comes and then I don't pay off my car, what happens is it lights up that part of the brain and it says, hey, there's a mismatch. And what it will do is it will tell the nervous system to to say, hey, light up the amygdala, there's a threat response here, we need to address it. But what happens when the threat is you? And what happens when the threat has to do with you and your money? This is why we get stuck in cycles of self-sabotage because we are the threat with our money. We're not doing the things that we said we were going to do. And this is not backed up by science, but this is my theory. Autoimmune diseases are when the body attacks itself and sees it as a threat. And I think what happens and the for the people in this moment who like don't spend their money or invest their money or save their money in the way that they say they are, is sometimes we get used to living in a state of self-sabotage because we're so used to betraying ourselves. We go to work, we interact with friends or our family or whatever the case may be and we're so used to like people pleasing and making other people happy and like you don't want to rock the boat and you will just constantly steamroll your own desires, your own needs and you won't speak up for yourself and it creates this pattern of self-betrayal. And and so what happens to people in that case, this is my theory, this is my guess, is that your anterior cingulate cortex is actually used to that. It's like, oh, our mental map of reality is self-betrayal. So when we get to the money, what are we going to do? Self-betrayal. Okay? And I think I my theory is that it literally accumulates into illness in the body. This is how we get autoimmune diseases, this is how we get like severe anxiety. It's because it's this constant cycle of self-betrayal. So it's like, if we're not able to stick to financial goals, it's like setting the goal and just saying I'm going to stick to it doesn't actually make you stick to it. It's it's unwinding and repairing this pattern of self-betrayal over the years. And so I I just thought that was fascinating to think about out loud.
