DO NOT PUT THE SODA MACHINE

@juliancrosscomedy

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SoundTikTok sound · Final Stand

Why it worked

The creator uses relatable frustrations about fast food pricing and service to create a humorous and engaging rant. The use of strong language and exaggerated scenarios likely resonated with viewers who have had similar experiences, leading to high engagement.

Summary

The creator expresses frustration with the high prices and hidden placement of drinks and condiments at fast-food establishments. They argue that items like soda and barbecue sauce are overpriced for what they are, and that businesses hide these items and napkins, leading to customer dissatisfaction and potentially impacting stock prices.

Structure

1Complains about soda machine placement and refill time
2Discusses high prices of soda and other items
3Compares fast food prices to personal experiences
4Criticizes hiding of condiments and drinks
5Questions the logic behind pricing and availability

On-screen text

DO NOT PUT THE SODA MACHINE BEHIND THE COUNTER IF IT'S GONNA TAKE YOU 45 FUCKING MINUTES TO GET ME A REFILL. I UNDERSTAND I UNDERSTAND YOU GOT CRAZY HOMLESS HOMLESS PEOPLE COMING IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT AND JUST POURING SODA FOR HOURS. I GET IT. I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND AND IT'S CAUSING PRICES TO RISE FOR EVERYBODY. BUT STOP PUTTING THE FUCKING SODA MACHINES BEHIND THE DAMN CASH REGISTER IF YOU GONNA TAKE 8 YEARS TO GIVE ME A REFILL, THERE IS NO THERE IS NO REASON, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY A DRINK SHOULD COST ANYTHING MORE THAN A FUCKING THE FUCK IT'S SYRUP. IT'S SYRUP. IT'S SYRUP AND CARBONATED WATER WHY IS IT $2.79? YOU CAN'T TELL ME SUGAR WATER IS $3. I TOOK MY DUMBASS DOWN TO TACO HELL I KNOW. I'M STILL I WENT DOWN THERE AND GOT ONE BURRITO FOR TWO DOLLARS AND NINETY NINE CENTS. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT THE DRINK THAT I GOT BESIDE WAS TWO DOLLARS AND SEVENTY AND SEVENTY NINE FUCKING CENTS. HOW WAS A CUP OF ICE, CARBONATED WATER CARBONATED WATER AND SYRUP TWO DOLLARS TWO DOLLARS AND SEVENTY NINE FUCKING CENTS. YOU CAN'T YOU CAN'T TELL ME A DRINK IS FUCKING $3. A LARGE TEA A LARGE TEA IS $4. IT'S JUST LEAVES AND WATER. LEAVES LEAVES AND WATER. YOU SEE ALL THESE LEAVES OUT IMMA JUST SNATCH SOME OF THESE LEAVES OFF THIS MOTHERFUCKING AND PUT THEM AND CHARGE YOU $8 FOR WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING ME? THAT DAMN SODA IS 8 EVERY DAMN FAST FOOD HIDING HIDING ALL THE CONDIMENTS BEHIND THE CASH REGISTER? WHO? WHY THE FUCK IS DAMN BARBECUE SAUCE 29 CENTS AT A IT'S BARBECUE IT'S BARBECUE SAUCE. I SHOULD NOT BE PAYING $4 FOR A DAMN LITTLE SCOOP OF SAUCE. WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT ME TO DIP THESE CHICKEN NUGGETS IN, NIGGA? THE AIR. I NEED THE SAUCE. GIVE ME THE FUCKING SAUCE. YOU GOT ALL THE DAMN DRINKS HIDDEN BEHIND THE CASH REGISTER? YOU GOT THE NAPKINS ALL THE ALL THE SAUCES IS TAKEN, THE AND THEN YOU WONDER WHY YOUR STOCK IS CAUSE NIGGA, I DON'T WANNA EAT HERE NO MORE. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HIDING EVERYTHING? OH, IT'S BECAUSE THE HOMELESS PEOPLE PEOPLE SAY THEY'RE GETTING A WATER CUP AND THEY TAKE SODA. SODA IS THE CHEAPEST THING ON THE PLANET. IT'S FUCKING SYRUP, IT'S FUCKING SYRUP, SUGAR AND YOU YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME THAT'S FOUR DOLLAR INVESTMENT. $4 FOR A FUCKING CUP OF WATER? AND SYRUP, SYRUP! THE FUCKING THE FUCKING NERVE CHARGING ME GODDAMN $4 WISH WISH THE FUCK I WOULD. CAN'T STAND THESE MOTHERFUCKING ESTABLISHMENTS NOWADAYS HIDING ALL THE IT'S DAMN IT'S DAMN A DRINK. IT'S A DRINK IT'S A DRINK OVER IT'S COSTING US CAUSE PEOPLE STEAL CAUSE PEOPLE STEAL: YOU KNOW WHY THEY CAUSE IT'S CAUSE IT'S SODA. IT AIN'T EVEN GOOD YOU BARELY GOT ANY TASTE LIKE CARBONATED WATER IN A WHIFF OF COKE. FUCK, YOU GOT ME PAYING TWO DOLLARS AND NINETY DAMN GO TO HELL. SODA. THESE NUTS

Original caption

gimme ten rounds with Ronald McDonald, Wendy, and Burgert Kingard #fastfood #standup #comedy #reels #soda

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Transcript

DO NOT PUT THE SODA MACHINE BEHIND THE COUNTER IF IT'S GONNA TAKE YOU 45 FUCKING MINUTES TO GET ME A REFILL. I UNDERSTAND. I UNDERSTAND YOU GOT CRAZY HOMELESS. HOMELESS PEOPLE COMING IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT AND JUST POURING SODA FOR HOURS. I GET IT. I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND AND IT'S CAUSING PRICES TO RISE FOR EVERYBODY. BUT STOP PUTTING THE FUCKING SODA MACHINES BEHIND THE DAMN CASH REGISTER IF YOU GONNA TAKE 8 YEARS TO GIVE ME A REFILL. THERE IS NO REASON, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY A DRINK SHOULD COST ANYTHING MORE THAN A FUCKING. THE FUCK. IT'S SYRUP. IT'S SYRUP. IT'S SYRUP AND CARBONATED WATER. WHY IS IT $2.79? YOU CAN'T TELL ME SUGAR WATER IS $3. I TOOK MY DUMBASS DOWN TO TACO HELL. I KNOW. I'M STILL. I WENT DOWN THERE AND GOT ONE BURRITO FOR TWO DOLLARS AND NINETY NINE CENTS. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT THE DRINK THAT I GOT BESIDE WAS TWO DOLLARS AND SEVENTY AND SEVENTY NINE FUCKING CENTS. HOW WAS A CUP OF ICE, CARBONATED WATER, CARBONATED WATER AND SYRUP, TWO DOLLARS, TWO DOLLARS AND SEVENTY NINE FUCKING CENTS. YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T TELL ME A DRINK IS FUCKING $3. A LARGE TEA. A LARGE TEA IS $4. IT'S JUST LEAVES AND WATER. LEAVES. LEAVES AND WATER. YOU SEE ALL THESE LEAVES OUT. IMMA JUST SNATCH SOME OF THESE LEAVES OFF THIS MOTHERFUCKING AND PUT THEM AND CHARGE YOU $8 FOR. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING ME? THAT DAMN SODA IS 8. EVERY DAMN FAST FOOD. HIDING. HIDING ALL THE CONDIMENTS BEHIND THE CASH REGISTER? WHO? WHY THE FUCK IS DAMN BARBECUE SAUCE 29 CENTS AT A. IT'S BARBECUE. IT'S BARBECUE SAUCE. I SHOULD NOT BE PAYING $4 FOR A DAMN LITTLE SCOOP OF SAUCE. WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT ME TO DIP THESE CHICKEN NUGGETS IN, NIGGA? THE AIR. I NEED THE SAUCE. GIVE ME THE FUCKING SAUCE. YOU GOT ALL THE DAMN DRINKS HIDDEN BEHIND THE CASH REGISTER? YOU GOT THE NAPKINS ALL THE. ALL THE SAUCES IS TAKEN, THE. AND THEN YOU WONDER WHY YOUR STOCK IS CAUSE NIGGA, I DON'T WANNA EAT HERE NO MORE. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HIDING EVERYTHING? OH, IT'S BECAUSE THE HOMELESS PEOPLE. PEOPLE SAY THEY'RE GETTING A WATER CUP AND THEY TAKE SODA. SODA IS THE CHEAPEST THING ON THE PLANET. IT'S FUCKING SYRUP. IT'S FUCKING SYRUP, SUGAR AND YOU. YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME THAT'S FOUR DOLLAR INVESTMENT. $4 FOR A FUCKING CUP OF WATER? AND SYRUP, SYRUP! THE FUCKING THE FUCKING NERVE CHARGING ME GODDAMN $4 WISH. WISH THE FUCK I WOULD. CAN'T STAND THESE MOTHERFUCKING ESTABLISHMENTS NOWADAYS HIDING ALL THE. IT'S DAMN. IT'S DAMN A DRINK. IT'S A DRINK. IT'S A DRINK OVER. IT'S COSTING US CAUSE PEOPLE STEAL. CAUSE PEOPLE STEAL: YOU KNOW WHY THEY STEAL? CAUSE IT'S CAUSE IT'S SODA. IT AIN'T EVEN GOOD. YOU BARELY GOT ANY SYRUP. TASTE LIKE CARBONATED WATER IN A WHIFF OF COKE. FUCK, YOU GOT ME PAYING TWO DOLLARS AND NINETY DAMN GO TO HELL. SODA. THESE NUTS