STORY TIME

@brittni_pristine

138.0K followers · usually 32.2K views a post

Views

550.2K

Likes

74.2K

Comments

1.4K

1.6K

SoundTikTok sound · original sound - brittni_pristine

View velocity

+27.4K views over 21.0d · ~1.3K/day · 19 observations

Why it worked

The video likely resonated with viewers due to its relatable theme of navigating friendships with individuals who have anxious attachment styles and place a heavy emotional burden on others. The creator's candid and vulnerable storytelling, combined with the controversial nature of the situation, likely sparked engagement and discussion.

Summary

The creator recounts a story about ending a friendship with an anxiously attached friend who relied on her for emotional support. She explains that the friend's excessive need for reassurance and validation became unsustainable, leading to the creator's decision to end the relationship. The creator reflects on the importance of setting boundaries and the impact of one-sided emotional labor in friendships.

Structure

1Introduction to the story about ending a friendship
2Explanation of the friend's anxious attachment and reliance on the creator
3The creator's realization of the unsustainable dynamic
4The friend's request for emotional regulation
5The creator's decision to end the friendship
6Reflection on the benefits of ending the friendship and having more emotional bandwidth

On-screen text

STORY TIME UP WITH MY BECAUSE SHE HAD AND A LOT PEOPLE WITH NO AT ME. THE HOOK OF TRIGGERED PEOPLE SO MUCH DIDN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING ELSE I SAID. EXPECTED US TO ALL AGREE THAT WAKING UP TO A PLATONIC FRIEND MESSAGING YOU DO YOU STILL LOVE ME? IS CRAZY. ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THAT STORY, TRULY THAT SHE HAD NO OTHER FRIENDS, IT'S THAT SHE ME FOR HER EMOTIONAL AND SOCIAL NEEDS. OF NINE YEARS HAS NO OTHER SHE'S TRIED TO BUT SHE, LIKE, GENUINELY DOESN'T HAVE THE TIME OR SPACE FOR THEM BECAUSE SHE ALSO HAS A FAMILY HAS A SON HAS A PARTNER. LIKE, THE ISSUE WAS FEELING EVERY SINGLE ROLE FOR THIS GIRL, AND IT ALSO WAS LIKE, OH, EVEN LIKE, REALISE IT OR APPRECIATE IT. REACHING MY BREAKING POINT. AND THEN TO WAKE UP AGAIN TO THE SELF FLAGELATING, DEPRECATING, TO THE ANXIOUSLY ATTACHED DO YOU STILL LOVE ME? I WAS LIKE, HEY, I'M ACTUALLY, LIKE, HAVING SOME ISSUES HERE. AND HER RESPONSE WAS LITERALLY I JUST NEEDED EMOTIONALLY REGULATE ME. LIKE, FEELING, LIKE, USELESS AND, LIKE, A FAILURE, AND ME THAT, LIKE, EVERYTHING'S PERFECT AND YOU LOVE ME, WHICH IS CRAZY. EVERYONE GOT ON MY ASS LIKE, SET A BOUNDARY, BITCH. THAT WAS ME THE BOUNDARY. BUT I REALISED BIT OF BACK THE DYNAMIC THAT SHE EXPECTED OF A RELATIONSHIP, DO IT ANYMORE. AND I UNDERSTAND IF YOU'RE ANXIOUSLY YOU NEED MORE REASSURANCE, SOMETIMES IT'S TOO MUCH, DUDE. AND IT DOES PUSH PEOPLE AWAY. I'M SORRY. LIKE, IT GOT TO UP MY PHONE AND SEE THE I'M GONNA BE AND I'M JUST LIKE, FUCK. AGAIN. AS SOMEONE SECURELY A FULL LIFE OUTSIDE OF THIS IT JUST WASN'T SUSTAINABLE. MONTH OUT OF I LITERALLY FEEL LIKE MY TIME HAS DOUBLED AND, LIKE, I HAVE SO MUCH MORE EMOTIONAL BANDWIDTH TO GIVE THE MULTIPLE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.

Original caption

It is no one else’s responsibility to emotionally regulate you!!

More from @brittni_pristine

More breakout videos from this creator.

Transcript

I told the story about how I had to break up with my anxiously attached friend because she had no other friends and a lot of people with no friends got mad at me. And I think the hook of that video just triggered people so much that they just didn't listen to anything else I said. Because I really expected us to all agree that waking up to a platonic friend messaging you, do you still love me? Is crazy. Like, if you actually listen to that story, the issue isn't truly that she had no other friends, it's that she was completely using me for her emotional and social needs. My best friend of nine years has no other friends besides me. She's tried to make them here, but she, like, genuinely doesn't have the time or space for them because she also has a family, has a son, has a partner. Like, the issue was feeling every single role for this girl, and it also was like, oh, she doesn't even like, realize it or appreciate it. Reaching my breaking point. And then to wake up again to the self-flagellating, self-deprecating, to the anxiously attached, do you still love me? I was like, hey, I'm actually, like, having some issues here. And her response was literally, I just needed you to emotionally regulate me. Like, feeling, like, useless and, like, a failure, and you telling me that, like, everything's perfect and you love me, which is crazy. Everyone got on my ass like, set a boundary, bitch. That was me setting the boundary. But I realized through a little bit of back and forth, the dynamic that she expected of a relationship, and I couldn't do it anymore. And I understand if you're anxiously attached, you need more reassurance, but like, sometimes it's too much, dude. And it does push people away. I'm sorry. Like, it got to the point where I would open up my phone and see the, I'm gonna be, and I'm just like, fuck. Again. As someone securely attached, who has a full life outside of this, it just wasn't sustainable. And now, like, a month out of that friendship, I literally feel like my time has doubled and, like, I have so much more emotional bandwidth to give the multiple people in my life.