Just my monthly reminder that if your child has excessive tantrums (30+ minutes daily, completely unreachable/inconsolable and your gut says something is off)-

With your first child, you have **no baseline for what “normal” actually looks like.** So when the tantrums started, we were told some version of: Toddlers have tantrums. This age is hard. Some kids are just more intense. It’s developmentally normal. And I believed it. Because what did I know? This was my first child. I assumed I had underestimated how hard toddlerhood would be. I assumed maybe *I* was the problem because I couldn’t handle it better. But then we had our second child only 15 months apart. And eventually I got to experience his tantrums. They were a freaking **walk in the park** compared to what we had been living through. He could be pissed. Cry. Scream. Throw himself on the floor. But he was still *there.* There was a beginning, a peak and an end. With our oldest, there were days she seemed completely unreachable. Inconsolable. Nothing made sense. Nothing helped. Thirty-plus minutes could pass while we basically waited for the storm to end. And we started living in anticipation of it. **When is today's meltdown coming?** That was one of the hardest parts. I started questioning again whether what we were seeing really WAS just normal toddler behavior. Eventually, we discovered she had parasites, and testing also raised concerns about heavy-metal exposure. After addressing what was going on with her health with professional guidance, her behavior changed dramatically. And I need to be really clear about what I'm **not** saying: I am NOT saying that if your toddler has big tantrums, they have parasites or heavy-metal toxicity. Tantrums are developmentally normal. Kids have different temperaments. Sensory needs, neurodevelopmental differences, communication, sleep, hunger, constipation, pain, illness, environmental stress and a million other things can influence behavior. **This is not a diagnosis. It's our story.** What I *am* saying is that behavior is information. And if the frequency, duration or intensity of your child's behavior feels extreme—or something in your gut keeps telling you **this is different**—you don't have to stop asking questions just because someone tells you, “Toddlers have tantrums.” Talk to your pediatrician. Describe exactly what you're seeing. Keep notes or videos if appropriate. Ask what else could be contributing and whether further evaluation makes sense. Because sometimes our job isn't to find a better way to manage the behavior. Sometimes it's to ask: **Why is my child having such a hard time in the first place?** I wish I had asked that question sooner. ❤️ #TheTriggeredMomma #ToddlerTantrums #ToddlerMom #OverstimulatedMom #ParentingSupport