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How I stop my 1.5 YO's tantrum in under 3 minutes
as a gentle parent
*1.5 YO whining & crying*
"I want daddy!"
Daddy's just doing some work
*loud thud of her cup*
Did you just throw that cup?
You don't get to throw cups.
No, cup is cup is done now.
All done.
Gentle parenting is
STRICT parenting
All done. No more cup
1.5 yo: want wawa and
milky!!
It just means that you enforce
rules without yelling, hitting, or
giving unrelated punishments
No more milky.
You threw the cup.
1.5 YO whining: I want
milky!!
I only use logical consequences
Throw cup-> lose cup
No more milky.
*1.5 YO crying*
I know. I know it's so sad
I don't give in to make the
whining/crying stop, but I do
give empathy
*1.5 YO crying*
You threw the cup. Now
the cup is all done.
I keep repeating the boundary, even
if it makes her upset, to make sure
that she understands
*1.5 YO crying*
You threw the cup.
The cup is all done.
*starts to throw other
kitchen items*
We're not throwing other
things either
No.
Everything you throw,
Mommy takes away.
No throwing.
No, no.
No, no.
No, no.
30 seconds later....
Are you just having a
moment on the floor?
Yeah?
You feeling better?
*1.5 YO grunts back*
Mad?
So I label her feeling again because
that helps move children out of their
reactive part of the brain back
into the frontal lobe
She was a little calmer, so I started
to give redirections so she could
release physical energy in an
appropriate way
You can stomp
or you can clap.
Do you wanna clap
together?
*1.5 YO stomps into the
living room*
And then she started running,
which I encourage for that release
Whoa! Good running.
Running is good. You can
run.
Why don't you run in that
room and run back really fast?
Ready? Go, go, go!
Run!
Woo! Good running.
Woo! Good running.
*1.5 YO laughing in the
next room*
What are you doing?
Oh! Are you having fun
with the cushion?
And then I saw that she was
throwing pillows without any
prompting from me!
Are you throwing pillows?
Are you throwing my
pillows monkey?
I just didn't think of it in the
heat of the moment & I'm so
proud that she did!
Now you're having so
much fun??
So I actually misspoke when I
said "no throwing" before and I
should have said "no throwing
hard things"
Can you throw more pillows?
I like when you throw
pillows.
We can throw pillows.
No throw cups.
No throw cups.
Throw pillows. Yes!
Yes!
Pillows are soft.
Yeah. Come throw a pillow
at me.
Let's throw pillows. Ready?
Whoa! Okay. Ready?
Hello?
Pillow! Throw!
Throw!
You get it
Okay. Ready?
Ready?
Pillow? Woo pillow
Look, Is the pillow soft? Is
it soft?
Yeah. We CAN throw soft.
Oh, and you're jumping off
of it.
The tantrum is over so FAST!
And I did it without giving in,
ignoring, or making her
suppress her feelings
That's a good idea. Look,
soft
We CAN throw it.
Ready? Ready?
It doesn't hurt.
Soft, soft, soft, soft
Soft, soft, soft, soft
Can I throw it?
One, two.
One, two.
Two
I want pat pats