"Because I didn't marry a loser."

Because I didn't marry a loser. Oh, you thought I was gonna tell you I didn't marry a loser because I just finished a Pilates class while he's at Costco doing our weekly grocery haul with the kids. But see, I would never tell you that because in doing so, I would imply that there are women who intentionally select a loser for a spouse and I refuse to believe that's true. Funny, under patriarchy, a good amount of them are doing some level of loser thinking. It's a little naive of you to give your men or any of us for that matter, that much credit for undoing and unlearning so much deep conditioning. I do think it's convenient how the responsibility of a bad situation continuously wins on a woman. If you're playing into that, it means the strategy is working. Calling him a good one for doing pretty normal, basic things and calling her smart or lucky for picking him, both let the actual problem off the hook. What we expect from men by default. So instead, how about this? Raise the bar for them before you raise your brow at her. Some of you are not girls' girls and it shows.