Five more questions to ask

Five more questions to ask yourself about your boyfriend and/or husband (I don't judge) to affirm that this is a safe and healthy relationship that is good for you. This is a part two. Part one is linked below. I find that far too many women are in relationships just to, like, be in a relationship. It gives you status in our society, so it makes sense. But it's good to stop every now and then and just check really quick that this is a relationship that still improves your life instead of making it worse. Number 1. If someone said you were just like your partner, how would that make you feel? Would you be proud, flattered, shocked, offended? This can tell you a lot of how you truly perceive your partner deep down about his flaws first. If you thought about his flaws first, that could be a bad sign. Number two, are you in love with who they are right now, or are you holding on to some future potential that they might have? Are you holding on to the hope that they'll change? How will you feel if they don't change? Because the desire to change can only come from within. As in, they have to decide on their own that they wanna change. You can't make them do that. Number 3, if applicable. Do you want children? Yes, no, maybe. And do they have the same answer? If you two have different answers, this is not something that can be compromised on. If one person wants children and the other one doesn't, there is no such thing as half a kid. You have to be honest with yourself here because this leads to a lot of divorces down the line. One partner silently holds out hope that the other will change their mind and they don't. Number 4. If you met them today, would you still choose to start dating the person they are now? Could you still see yourself falling in love with them? If applicable, have they grown into a person that you're proud of? Because the way that I see it, love is not a feeling. It is, but it isn't. It's more of a choice. As in, you wake up everyday and you choose to keep them in your life. And I think that framing is a lot more meaningful than love being an involuntary feeling. Looking at your relationship in this way and asking yourself these questions can help you avoid the sunk cost fallacy and assess whether the direction they're growing in is compatible with the direction that you're growing in. Number 5. Are you friends? You might love them, but do you *like* them? And do they like you?