9 SIGNS YOU'RE A DICKHEAD KEEP SCORE

@vibe_samurai

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SoundTikTok sound · original sound - vibe_samurai

Why it worked

The video uses a provocative and humorous approach to discuss common social faux pas, making it relatable and shareable. The numbered list format and the scoring system encourage engagement and self-reflection, driving virality through audience participation and discussion.

Summary

The creator lists nine behaviors that indicate someone is a "dickhead," ranging from littering and ignoring service workers to petty driving and leaving messes. The video concludes by scoring the viewer based on how many of these behaviors they exhibit, categorizing them from "normal person" to "full-time dickhead" and "flaming dickhead."

Structure

1Introduction to the "dickhead score"
2Listing signs 1-4 (littering, ignoring payment, merging aggressively, ignoring service staff)
3Listing signs 5-7 (elevator etiquette, leaving frozen food, playing videos loudly)
4Listing signs 8-9 (leaving messes, killing bugs)
5Scoring the viewer based on their number of "dickhead" traits
6Concluding remarks on character and self-awareness

On-screen text

9 SIGNS YOU'RE A DICKHEAD KEEP SCORE HERE are nine TINY SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT KEEP SCORE BECAUSE AT I'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY DICKHEAD YOU ARE NO. 1 YOU LITTER IF YOU THROW GARBAGE ON THE GROUND CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE IDENTIFIED YOURSELF AS THE TRASH NO. 2 SOMEONE HOLDS AND YOU IGNORE IT AND PUT THE MONEY ON THE COUNTER THEIR HAND IS RIGHT THERE WHO RAISED YOU NO. 3 YOU'RE CHARMING TO ME BUT RUDE TO THE SERVER THEN YOU'RE NOT CHARMING YOU'RE STRATEGIC CHECK PLEASE FOR THE MEAL AND THE FRIENDSHIP NO.4 SOMEONE SIGNALS TO MERGE AND YOU SPEED UP YOU WERE DOING 40 SUDDENLY IT'S FAST AND FURIOUS PETTY DRIFT YOU DON'T EVEN WANT THE LANE YOU JUST DON'T THEM TO HAVE IT DICKHEAD NUMBER FIVE YOU ENTER THE ELEVATOR BEFORE PEOPLE GET OUT WHERE DO YOU EXPECT THEM TO GO THROUGH YOU THIS IS AN ELEVATOR NOT NARNIA NO. 6 YOU LEAVE FROZEN FOOD ON SOME RANDOM SHELF CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT THE SHRIMP FINE WALK THEM BACK DON'T LEAVE THEM BESIDE THE BIRTHDAY CANDLES NO. 7 YOU PLAY VIDEOS OUT LOUD IN PUBLIC NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOUR PHONE BUY HEADPHONES WE ARE NOT PARTICIPATING IN YOUR ALGORITHM NO.8 YOU LEAVE A HUGE MESS BECAUSE SOMEONE TO CLEAN IT SOMEONE GETS PAID TO FIGHT FIRES TOO THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD BURN DOWN THE WHOLE BUILDING NO.9 YOU KILL HARMLESS BUGS FOR NO REASON WHAT THE FUCK DID THAT LADYBUG DO TO YOU CONGRATULATIONS TOUGH GUY YOU DEFEATED A LADYBUG NOW COUNT YOUR SCORE 0 TO 2 YOU'RE A NORMAL PERSON WITH OCCASIONAL DICKHEAD OUTBREAKS 3 TO 4 YOU'RE REDEEMABLE TREATMENT IS AVAILABLE START BY RETURNING THE SHRIMP 5 TO 8 YOU'RE A FULL TIME DICKHEAD YOUR FRIENDS DEFINITELY HAVE A SEPARATE GROUP CHAT AND IF YOU GOT ALL NINE YOU'RE A FLAMING DICKHEAD YOUR PERSONALITY NEEDS A FIRE EXTINGUISHER THESE THINGS SEEM SMALL THAT'S EXACTLY WHY THEY REVEAL SO MUCH CHARACTER ISN'T WHAT YOU DO WHEN THE MOMENT FEELS IMPORTANT IT LEAKS OUT WHEN YOU THINK THE MOMENT IS TOO SMALL TO MATTER DROP YOUR SCORE IF YOU GOT ALL 9 PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELF THE REST OF US NEED TO MAKE INFORMED DECISIONS

Original caption

We all have occasional dickhead outbreaks. The concern is when it becomes chronic. Keep score. If you get all nine, please identify yourself. The rest of us need to make informed decisions. The Omnivore Club is for curious humans. Dickheads need not apply. If you’re ready to recognize your own patterns, book a Private Clarity Session. For deeper rabbit holes, join me on Substack. Everything is linked in my bio. #SelfAwareness #HumanBehavior #SocialEtiquette #VibeSamurai #OmnivoreClub

More from @vibe_samurai

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Transcript

Here are nine tiny signs that you might keep score because at I'll tell you exactly dickhead you are. No. 1, you litter. If you throw garbage on the ground, congratulations, you have identified yourself as the trash. No. 2, someone holds and you ignore it and put the money on the counter. Their hand is right there. Who raised you? No. 3, you're charming to me, but rude to the server. Then you're not charming, you're strategic. Check please for the meal and the friendship. No. 4, someone signals to merge and you speed up. You were doing 40, suddenly it's fast and furious. Petty drift, you don't even want the lane, you just don't want them to have it. Dickhead number five, you enter the elevator before people get out. Where do you expect them to go through you? This is an elevator, not Narnia. No. 6, you leave frozen food on some random shelf. Changed your mind about the shrimp? Fine, walk them back. Don't leave them thawing beside the birthday candles. No. 7, you play videos out loud in public. Nobody wants to hear your phone. Buy headphones. We are not participating in your algorithm. No. 8, you leave a huge mess because someone gets paid to clean it. Someone gets paid to fight fires too. That doesn't mean you should burn down the whole building. No. 9, you kill harmless bugs for no reason. What the fuck did that ladybug do to you? Congratulations, tough guy. You defeated a ladybug. Now count your score. 0 to 2, you're a normal person with occasional dickhead outbreaks. 3 to 4, you're redeemable. Treatment is available. Start by returning the shrimp. 5 to 8, you're a full-time dickhead. Your friends definitely have a separate group chat. And if you got all nine, you're a flaming dickhead. Your personality needs a fire extinguisher. These things seem small. That's exactly why they reveal so much character. Isn't what you do when the moment feels important. It leaks out when you think the moment is too small to matter. Drop your score if you got all 9. Please identify yourself. The rest of us need to make informed decisions.