a man dies, and unfortunately he goes to Hell.

A man dies, and unfortunately he goes to Hell. And the demon on shift greets him and says "Welcome to Hell! It's gonna suck, but you get to decide how much it sucks... Let me take you on a tour of three rooms that you have a choice to stay in and at the end of the tour you get to decide which room you stay in for eternity." So he takes him to the first room and the guy looks in the little window on the door and he sees that the room is full of shit two feet high and everybody in the room is doing headstands so their heads are completely buried in this wet gross-ass shit and the demons are watching them and laughing at them and he's like "That sucks." And so then he goes to the second room and he looks in the window of the door and he sees that the room is full of shit three feet high and everybody in the room is doing a headstand in the shit and the demons are cackling at them and it's really really humiliating and he's like "That sucks even worse. What's in the third room?" So the demon takes him to the third room and he looks in the window of the door and the shit in this room is up to people's necks but they're not standing on their heads, they're standing on their feet and they're drinking Coca-Cola. And he goes "Well that's more shit but I think I'd rather be in Room 3." And the demon says "Great, you're gonna be in Room 3 for all eternity." And just then one of the demons in Room 3 says "Alright everybody! Break's over! Back on your heads!" I heard that joke for the first time when I was like seven years old. It was such an idyllic time for me. I didn't have to deal with mental illness or drug addiction yet. I was, like, in shape. Seven was a good year for me. This year is a tough year for me. I'm kinda struggling I could use your help. My mortgage was due yesterday. I don't have enough money to save up to pay the mortgage. I'm still a few hundred dollars short and I could really use your help with the money because I'm working a job that has no base pay and I'm not getting paid at all this week because I'm not making any sales right now because it's really hard to get people on the phone because my phone number has been marked as spam because of the volume of phone calls that I need to make everyday for my job. It's an impossible situation. Luckily I have a job interview in about a half an hour and I might be able to find something that gets me outside, walking around, still trying to make some sales but there's a base pay and I could really really use some help in the meantime, until I'm making money at this potential new job, so that I can pay my mortgage and keep a roof over my family's heads. I'm sorry for the screen shaking but my hands shake sometimes when I get embarrassed and scared and it's embarrassing to ask for help and it's scary to have as little money all the time as I do right now. So anyways, if you're able to help, I'm thiirdperson with three i's at Cash App, Venmo, Paypal, and Ko-Fi, and if you could send anything along to help me pay the mortgage today before it's too late before there's fees before I risk losing the house I'd be really really grateful and I'd be thankful forever and ever and also it would help me to live for another month and so that would be great. Everybody likes to live. Nobody wants to be in Hell. Cheers!