grwm to keep my job as an on call big tech engineer who missed a bunch of pings at 1am

I am a big tech engineer who is currently on call. Last night at 1 in the morning I missed a bunch of pings. So now I am going to do my makeup so I can go into the office and feel better and more productive. I swear I promised myself in 2026 that I would go to the office more often, but I think I have only been a handful of times. Last night I got pinged because I am on call, but I did not answer it. Thank God that my backup answered it or else I would have went to my manager who is currently on vacation. And I definitely would have woken up to me getting fired or something. What is funny but not really funny, this is my second on call shift and my first on call shift I also missed a phone call. The worst part about that one though is that that one was at 8pm. So I genuinely have no excuses. I am just an incompetent person. If the person who was my backup was not my backup, I think I would have been freaking out a lot more. I am so lucky to have the teammates that I do because they are so sweet and they make sure that I do not feel like crap whenever stuff like this happens to me. Because as you can imagine, I am freaking the fuck out. So to make myself feel more competent, I am going to the office. It cancels out, you know? If you are an engineer and you have ever missed an on call call in the middle of the night, it happens to the best of us, so don't feel bad about it. In my defense, I did work till midnight last night because I had a lot of work and testing to do. And I just think it is crazy that I got the call literally 10 minutes after I fell asleep. There is no excuse, okay? I know that I effed up. We are ready to go slay and to go make a good impression so we don't get fired.