Some people will never understand the choices you make for peace

Some people will never understand the choices you make for peace. For a certain group of people, their baseline is chaos. The closeness and the bond comes from the chaos in it of itself. Sometimes it can look like a trauma bond. And when you choose to remove yourself from that type of dynamic, they don't know how to be close to you anymore. They're arguing the drama, the intensity, that reads like closeness to them. Think about people who are chronic gossips. And you know you know one. When you don't want to engage in gossiping about another person or even hearing any sort of gossip whatsoever, they have no idea what to talk to you about anymore. Oh, but we've been best friends for 15 years, 20 years, this is how we are. This is how families are supposed to be. No. When you finally remove yourself from that type of environment and see things for what they are, you choose calm, conversation, regulation, you choose to step away. They don't see it as you finding peace. They see it as abandonment. And leaving or choosing not to engage in that type of relationship with them, that's when the attack of titans comes. I'm trying to say you're anti-relationship, anti-whatever. They're going to label you and that makes it easier to dismiss you. They're going to call you everything under the sun, but choosing peace, they're not going to recognize that. They're not going to validate your choice. And this isn't about people who challenge you or hold you accountable. That is healthy. It's actually about people who cannot tell the difference between accountability and attack. So I don't take it personally when someone doesn't get it. Because if they truly understood what peace felt like, they probably would not want to be in community with themselves either.