People treat breakups like they're equal. They're not.

People treat breakups like they're equal. They're not. I do think people that end relationships do have courage. It takes courage to end a relationship and understand that cycles and seasons change and you have to move forward. But at the same time, I don't like the way that a lot of breakups just get put in the same buckets of you. You grieve the relationship and you move on. When people have been dumped, especially in an inhumane way like a, I consider an avoidant discard a horrendous way to be broken up with. I experienced and the fact that we were 10 years together and I experienced that, it's obviously gonna give me a very different perspective on breakups. I've also never had to dump someone or end a relationship. But when I suss understand, just get this vibe that when someone's that they have never been dumped and they don't know what it feels like to have to rebuild your self-esteem to have that feeling of worthlessness or. And like I said, it's really based on me. Someone might be onto the next, it's okay, and genuinely feel that way. There's so much that goes into how long you were together, the intensity whether it's toxic, whether all those things. But I really have mainly from my podcast and watching people on YouTube and some people in my real life that when you haven't experienced being dumped and being thrown to the curb. Your your outlook on breakups is different. And I'm but it's often like, you need to Um, it's okay. things end and you just get on with. There's actually. There can actually be quite a lot for someone for someone that's just been left behind. Whether whether it's the right decision or not, and often it is the those relationships do need to end. And the people I dumped often realize later on that needed to end. Because then I learnt so much about myself and I created new boundaries and I found myself and I wouldn't have met my now partner and all that kind of stuff comes into play. But I really can see how people that have been in relationships and always been the one to end and have that layer of control, that layer of being able to grieve probably quicker or easier because they knew it was coming. It's so different to like a, I have a blindsided so that's always going to be different. But I just. My heart feels differently for people that have been dumped, and mainly women kind of innocent people that aren't aren't doing all these things and therefore are being left. I'm talking about people that just just wanted to laugh, just wanted to care, just wanted to be there with their partner and someone pulled the trigger. Ah, that. That is painful stuff. And I think people experience relationships different through that lens than someone that has done the breaking up all and how they relate to someone that's gone through a breakup, because their version of a breakup is like, you just. It's and you know, you can do better and everything's gonna be okay. There may still be grief and everything, like I said, but versus someone else, I had to rebuild, and I had to get my self-esteem back off the floor. That's going to be a different conversation. I think the people, the dumpy community, really understand the. The avoidant discard community, those are my people. Those are people that often just wanted to love and care for someone and have been together and thought they were in a safe relationship, and then, boom, boom, boom, no, they weren't.