DO YOU HAVE PARADISE AND STILL WANT THE APPLE?

I'm so interesting. Women might actually just be greedy. Hear me out. You know that stereotype of a man living alone? One armchair, a TV, a PlayStation, one superstitious looking towel, maybe a bed frame if he's particularly ambitious. And he's fine. He's not sitting there thinking, you know what would really elevate this space? A boucle accent chair, a mid-century abstract paint, and a bird of paradise plant. He doesn't care. And when a man does have a nice home, half the time he's thinking about whether women coming into this space are going to like it, or going to feel good in it. Then he gets a girlfriend one day and suddenly we need cushions, candles, a coffee table, then a bigger house because apparently we've outgrown the perfectly functional one and a nice kitchen, a better car, and then a holiday. But not that hotel because the bathroom looks dated. Then the holidays need outfits, matching ones, a different one every day. And somehow every outfit needs its own shoes. And before you know it, this man is working overtime because his wife has decided that their current dining room table doesn't represent them anymore. And obviously, I'm exaggerating, but only slightly. Because I've always called this woman having standards. But I'm starting to wonder, are they actually higher standards or do we just constantly want more? Because men obviously have their own problems. Men chase power, status, sex, cars, money, whatever. But their male status is about attracting women. Why does he want the impressive car? Why does he care about his clothes? Why does he want the impressive job to be the powerful and feared and looked up on? At the time, there's a woman somewhere in the equation. Why does he want the impressive car? Why does he care about his clothes? Why does he want the impressive job to be the powerful and feared and looked up on? At the time, there's a woman somewhere in the equation. Meanwhile, do you know who women are trying to impress? The woman. Because your husband doesn't know that Sarah's husband taking her to the Maldives, you do. Your husband doesn't know if your kitchen tiles look outdated. You do. He didn't know he was supposed to buy you a car as a push present. He didn't know there was such a thing as a fashionable pram. He didn't know Christmas decorations had trends. And the worst part is, half of these standards aren't even decided by us. They're sold to us. You see what other women have. And suddenly what we have feels inadequate. And sometimes we don't even want that handbag. We want the handbag that represents. Her husband bought her that. He must earn more. He must spoil her more. He must love her more to work that hard. Because maybe he's more scared of losing her than I am to mine. And that is where I think women really screw ourselves. We put a price tag on ourselves. The bigger the ring, the more valuable I must be. The better the holiday, the more loved I must be. The bigger the push present, the more appreciated I must be. And consumerism absolutely loves that because now they're not just selling you a handbag, they're selling you proof that you're valuable. And the funniest part is, this goes all the way back to the beginning. God basically said, here's paradise. You have everything. Just leave that one thing alone. And Eve went, yeah, but was that on that tree? Of course she did. Even paradise apparently needed an upgrade. And Adam, the idiot, just went along with it. So maybe we need to stop pretending women are these completely innocent creatures who merely have standards while men constantly fail to provide enough. Because sometimes your man is genuinely saying they have a house, we have food, we went on holiday six months ago, why are we still shopping? I'm not saying don't have standards. I'm not saying don't want beautiful house, nice holidays or a successful husband. I want nice things too. But maybe we need to be very careful about where wanting better ends and envy begins. Because we're constantly moving the finish line and then wondering why men feel like they can never provide enough. They're insecure and they're trying to keep up with us. We think they want. Trying to prove themselves to us. And we still look sideways at what another woman has. So maybe the question isn't whether women should lower their standards. Maybe the question is, how much of what you call your standard was actually sold to you? And how much did you choose? And how much was sold to you?