*stitch incoming...

if you're not your man's typendo not date himnI'm suchnmake sure you are his typenwhen you start dating him or when you start talking to this man and looknthat ain't my type that ain't my typenPay attention to the type that you think it isnHere's the thing he has a typenAre you his type? If I were younI would wannanfind that man go be with his typenSometimes you just gotta let a man go be with his type.nYOU'RE NOT YOURnHUSBAND'S TYPEnDO YOU EVERnOUT IN THEnJUST LIKE,nTHAT'S MY HUSBAND'SnDREAM GIRL?nIT'S NOT ME.nEVERY TIME Insee an athletic, blonde girl who'snkind of tan,nMY HUSBAND'S DREAMnIt's funny seeing thesenvideosnbecause my husband and Inhad this conversation sonmany timesnwith our single friends.nAnd the more I think aboutnit, if I was 15 and singlenagain,nbut had the brain thatnI have now and processnrelationships the way I donnow,nI actually don't think I'dnwant to be someone'sntype.nHear me out.nBecause on paper,neveryone thinks that's thendream, right?nI'm exactly what he'snlooking for.nBut let's say a guy tells younmy type is a mixed race girlnwith curly hair,nlight eyes and big boobs,nand that's you.nSo you're thinking, perfect.nJackpot.nThen I started thinkingndoesn't that mean thatnevery other woman whonfits that descriptionncould have been you? Itnalmost suggests that henisn't with you for you,nhe was just looking for thatna template.nMaybe I'm overthinking it,nbut I don't actually findnthat as romantic asneveryone else seems to.nJust flip it the other waynround now,nI've asked loads of guysnthe same question.nI'll saynimagine if your girlfriendnturns around and says younare exactly my type.nEvery guy I've gone for hasnalways been above 6 foot,nhas been a semi pronfootballer with brown hair,nor the other way around.nShe says every guy she'snever liked has beenncompletely different tonyou,nand somehow she ended upnchoosing you.nEvery single guy we'venever asked this question,npick the second option.nThey all say the samenthing,nthat that way they'd knownshe chose them for them.nAnd I actually agree.nBecause if someone hasnthis incredibly specificntype,nwhat are they reallynattached to?nYou or the template?nBecause if another guynwalks into the room whonfits that exact template,nbut he's richer, taller,nmore successful, funnier,nor better looking, he's stillnthe template,njust the upgraded versionnof it.nWhereas if someone endsnup being with youneven though you weren'tnexactly what theynimagined in their head,nthen clearlynsomething about younmattered more thannwhatever checklist theynthought they had.nI completely understandnwhy women say they wantnto be their man's type.nI think it comes fromninsecurity.nBecause if your husbandnsays,nI've always gone fornblondes,nevery blonde suddenlynfeels like a competition.nI completely understandnthat.nBut I don't actually thinknthe answer is trying tonbecome his type.nI think the answer isnbecoming secure enoughnto believe him when henchooses you.nBecause if your partner hasnnever given you a reasonnnot to trust him,nbut you spend your lifencomparing yourself tonevery womannwho fits what you think isnhis type,nyour insecurity willnprobably do more damagento your relationshipnthan his preferences everncould.nNow, if he's constantlynchecking other womennout, flirting,nmaking you feel secondnbest,nor giving you reasons notnto trust him,nthat's a completelyndifferent conversation.nThat isn't about whethernyou're his type.nThat's about his character.nIf he chooses you,ncontinues choosing you,nand loves you well,nI'd stop worrying so muchnabout whether you fitnsome imaginary checklistnand pay more attention tonthe fact that he chose you.nHe loves you. Because I'dnmuch rather be loved bynmy character,nmy values, the way I makensomeone laugh,nthe way I make someonenfeel,nthe life we build together,nthan because I happen tonhave the right hair colour.nThe way I see it,nI'd rather be the womannwho made my man forgetnhe even had a type,nthan be the woman whonsimply fitted one.