YOU WANT HIM TO LEAD... UNTIL HE STOPS TAKING YOUR ORDERS

I feel like a lot of women don't actually want a masculine man. They want a masculine employee. You want him to provide, to protect you, take initiative, plan the date, make the decisions, handle the problems, lead the family, be confident, be assertive, be a freaking man. And I get it. But a lot of you only want that when his decisions perfectly align with yours. Because the second he says no to you, the second he disagrees with you, he's controlling. The second he tells you, I don't think that's a good idea, he's toxic. And God forbid he actually makes a decision without running it through the freaking board of directors first. Suddenly you're oppressed. So what exactly did you mean when you said you wanted a man who leads? Because leadership that requires your permission isn't leadership. You don't want him to lead. You want him to take all of the responsibility while you retain all the authority. You want him to be masculine enough to carry the weight, but submissive enough to never challenge you. And no, this doesn't mean your husband gets to control you. It doesn't mean he's always right, and it definitely doesn't mean you don't get a voice. You're his wife, not his freaking hostage. But the only time you're comfortable with your husband leading is when he's doing exactly what you've told him to do, and he has to do it exactly your way. Isn't it? In that case, he's not leading. He's just following instructions. So maybe stop saying you want a masculine man. You want an employee. And apparently you're his manager.