EVER NORMALLY

You’re irritable because you’ve had to shove your feelings down for YEARS! I bet in your family you’ve heard things like, “That never happened.” “I never said that.” “Why are you so sensitive?” “You’re misremembering.” “My favorite.” “Why do you have to be so difficult all the time?” Am I being difficult? Or am I holding you accountable, friend? Your nervous system remembers hearing moments where someone was avoiding accountability. So you’re not reacting to one comment at the kitchen table, you’re reacting to a lifetime of having your reality erased and denied. And that’s a lot of subconscious pain compounded over time. Huh. No wonder you get so irritated. So if you’re the irritated person in the family, don’t worry, it used to be me too. It’s not a character flaw. It’s your body saying, “I remember what these people did and we never had the conversation to repair or make it better. What happened properly.” Like, I didn’t like interacting with my parents, and I didn’t enjoy siblings. I always felt on edge being around them because my nervous system was screaming at me to pay attention because these people were not good for me, even though they were my family. And that can be very confusing. It sucks. I knew family was like, yeah, a mess. It’s generational trauma that nobody has been brave enough to handle, take just and handed down generations. People have been saying “that never happened.” “I never said that.” Being irritable around family is a stress response. So noticing it is the first step in breaking the cycle. Those phrases I’ve mentioned are called DARVO responses. And it’s a manipulation tactic that people have used against you for years. And it worked because you didn’t know what it was and you didn’t know how to properly defend yourself from it. But all that’s gonna stop because we’re gonna talk about it over the next couple of weeks. My next series of videos all about the different ways that people try to skirt around the thing that they did, they have to look themselves in the mirror and say, “Maybe I’m at fault.” Gee, Mom, you think? What a novel concept. Maybe, yeah, you’re not crazy. Family, well, doesn’t communicate well. You’re probably not gonna be the one to teach them, but we’re gonna at least protect you because these people don’t want to listen, they don’t want to get better. It’s okay. We’ll deal with those feelings too. Right now, I just want you to know what it is. And I want you to not feel bad when you feel like hanging out with your family. Those feelings are just a mirror to how they’ve treated you all these years. And they haven’t treated you very well, have they? You didn’t deserve it. You’re doing great. Let’s keep talking about it, okay? I love you. Bye.