How I talk to my 5.5 YO when she keeps asking the same question

@kendraworth

303.7K followers · usually 13.0K views a post

Views

481.5K

Likes

56.0K

Comments

677

1.3K

SoundTikTok sound · original sound - kendraworth

Why it worked

The video offers practical, relatable parenting advice that resonates with many parents facing similar challenges with their children's persistent questioning. The creator's calm and conversational approach provides a clear, actionable strategy.

Summary

The creator explains their approach to handling a child's persistent questioning. Instead of getting frustrated, they engage in a conversation to teach the child about boundaries and understanding that answers are final, while still encouraging curiosity.

Structure

1Introduction to the problem of a child repeatedly asking the same question.
2The creator explains their strategy of having a conversation instead of shutting down the child.
3The creator discusses teaching the child about final answers and the importance of not bothering others with trivial questions.
4The creator explains how this approach helps the child internalize lessons and understand why answers are given.
5The creator concludes that the child eventually understood and stopped the behavior.

On-screen text

How I talk to my 5.5 YO when she keeps asking the same question Lately, my 5.5 YO has been pushing boundaries & asking the same question over & over after I've already said "no" This time, she wanted me to text her aunt about whether her pool is chlorine or salt water Instead of yelling at her or shutting her down, I have a conversation with her 5.5 YO: What? I'm wondering that. Because I want her to be curious and not be afraid to ask questions Do you think I'm gonna change my answer? and I'll say, "okay, I'll text her"? Is that what you're trying to have happen? But I also want her to understand that my answers are final & are not up for debate A little bit? It's okay to say yes 5.5 YO: bigger nod "yes" Well, the thing is, when mommy gives you an answer, that's it! That's my answer. I only need to have them a few times before my kids fully understand and stop repeating the behavior (for the most part) And I'll explain WHY I gave you my answer, but am I gonna change my answer As opposed to most parents who either DO give in & change their answer or yell & escalate without explaining to one that you like better? 5.5 YO: But why??? So we don't bother people if questions aren't, like, important. If we don't need answers right away. I'm also teaching her the difference between an immediate question & something she can wait to ask We can ask her later if her pool is chlorine or salt water. It's not something we have to ask right now. There's no reason to need the answer right this second. And if I just shut her down, she wouldn't have truly internalized that lesson So we can ask her next time we see her. You can say, "is your pool chlorine or salt water?" So it's much less likely that she does this again because she understands WHY And then you'll get your answer. But it's not something where we need to bother someone about it, right? What do you think? 5.5 YO: gives me a thumbs up But can we work on not asking me the same thing over and over? Cause I'm just gonna have this conversation with you again about it. So that you understand that my answer doesn't change. Okay? When mommy says no, I mean no. And when I say yes, I mean Yes, alright? Mission accomplished! My 5.5 YO stopped asking me to text her aunt after this I mean yes and I mean no.

Original caption

Asking the same question over & over to try to get you to change your answer or giving endless “whyyyys?” are some of the most irritating things children do, but it comes from their natural curiosity. Curiosity is what drives their ability to learn, and when you shut it down in one area, you end up shutting it down in ALL areas, which will not serve your child well in school or in life. Instead of getting increasingly annoyed every time I repeat “no” until I scare my kids into stopping the behavior, I talk to them about why my answer is firm while I’m still calm. I have this conversation as soon as my older kids ask the same question twice, and it resolves the issue a lot more quickly & effectively than if I were to keep repeating myself until yelling at them. In case you’re confused, THIS is gentle parenting: strict boundaries enforced calmly + rationally. I don’t need to scream at my kids to get them to listen because my no means no and yes means yes. And if they try to push it, we’ll talk about why it’s not going to work until they understand. For all things REAL LIFE evidence-based parenting, make sure to follow me & head to the link 🔗 in my bio or hhsleep.com for more resources 💗 #creatorsearchinsights #beingamum #parenting #gentleparenting #momtok Being a mum Real life as a mom Parenting moments Moms helping moms

More from @kendraworth

More breakout videos from this creator.

Transcript

You keep doing this thing where, like, I answer your question and then you keep asking me the same thing. I already said I'm not texting her right now about that. That's not an important enough question. And then you told me to text her again. What do you think's gonna happen if you keep saying the same thing to me? What? I'm wondering that. Like, do you think I'm gonna change my answer? and I'll say, "okay, I'll text her"? Is that what you're trying to have happen? But I also want her to understand that my answers are final & are not up for debate A little bit? It's okay to say yes bigger nod "yes" Well, the thing is, when mommy gives you an answer, that's it! That's my answer. I only need to have them a few times before my kids fully understand and stop repeating the behavior (for the most part) And I'll explain WHY I gave you my answer, but am I gonna change my answer As opposed to most parents who either DO give in & change their answer or yell & escalate without explaining to one that you like better? But why??? So we don't bother people if questions aren't, like, important. If we don't need answers right away. I'm also teaching her the difference between an immediate question & something she can wait to ask We can ask her later if her pool is chlorine or salt water. It's not something we have to ask right now. There's no reason to need the answer right this second. And if I just shut her down, she wouldn't have truly internalized that lesson So we can ask her next time we see her. You can say, "is your pool chlorine or salt water?" So it's much less likely that she does this again because she understands WHY And then you'll get your answer. But it's not something where we need to bother someone about it, right? What do you think? gives me a thumbs up But can we work on not asking me the same thing over and over? Cause I'm just gonna have this conversation with you again about it. So that you understand that my answer doesn't change. Okay? When mommy says no, I mean no. And when I say yes, I mean Yes, alright? Mission accomplished! My 5.5 YO stopped asking me to text her aunt after this I mean yes and I mean no.