Watch me stop a tantrum in its tracks using co-regulation

@kendraworth

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Why it worked

The video likely resonated because it offered a practical, relatable solution to a common parenting challenge (toddler tantrums) using a gentle, effective method (co-regulation). The creator's calm demeanor and clear demonstration of the steps involved made the technique easy to understand and replicate.

Summary

A parent demonstrates a co-regulation technique to stop a toddler's tantrum. The parent remains calm, offers physical affection, models deep breathing, and then explains the boundary. The technique successfully de-escalates the situation, leading to a happy interaction and the start of the bedtime routine.

Structure

1Toddler begins screaming and crying after being stopped from watching a movie.
2Parent remains calm and sits on the floor as an invitation for the child.
3Parent offers hugs and kisses, models deep breathing, and explains the boundary.
4Toddler calms down, asks for cuddles, and then initiates the bedtime routine.
5Parent reaffirms love and affection, and the child leads the charge for bedtime.
6The situation resolves quickly with the child happily participating in the bedtime routine.

On-screen text

Watch me stop a tantrum in its tracks using co-regulation 21 mo toddler: *screaming & crying* Right before this, I made my toddler stop watching Pocahontas because she kept randomly screaming, so a tantrum ensued 21 MO: inaudible crying With tantrums, you NEED to remain calm & not give any sort of dramatic reaction 21 MO: you hug! I start by regulating myself & then I sit on the floor as an invitation 21 MO: still whimpering And just like that, she walked over to sit in my lap & stopped the scream crying 21 MO: still whimpering Next, I give hugs and kisses with little to no talking 21 MO: still whimpering And after that, I start to model deep breathing so she'll copy me Speeding it up... I keep going until she stops crying completely I could hear her doing deep breaths btw love you movie is all done Once she's calm, I go back to what the tantrum was about & explain WHY she can't have or do something you were yelling and you were not being kind to us movie is all finished Then I re-state the boundary: "the movie is all finished" movie is all finished I keep giving physical affection while explaining in a very soothing voice if she is calm enough to listen you were not having good behavior 21 mo: "I [want] Nono!" If she responds to me, I empathize and confirm that I understand what she wants even though she can't have it but you are not having kind behavior so we're all done now with movie time is finished After that, I go back to deep breathing Usually explaining makes her mad again, but that's okay. She needs to understand why she got a consequence are you angry about it? I always label my kids' emotions and ask how they're feeling 21 mo: yeah pee? what are you? tell me how you're feeling 21 mo: "happy" And apparently she's happy now 🤣 you're happy? 21 mo: yeah yeah? okay good I'm glad you're happy now. good Then she moved on to something else, so I encouraged her to shift her attention & tried to lighten the mood that was quick 21 mo: "I get clothes!" You're gonna get your night night clothes? you're gonna get your jammies? Oh, you wanna CLOSE Noelle's drawer pull that thing up high fives? When she walked over, I put my arms back out for a hug, but she wanted a high five ✋ yeah good job! it's about to be bedtime 21 mo: "sit down" you want me to put my lap down? say, "lap down" Then she wanted more cuddles on my lap, but my kids (including my toddler) need to ask me to do things nicely 21 mo: "lap down" I like to cuddle you I'm so happy to cuddle you 21 mo: "I want gummy" Then she started asking for her "night night gummy" so I knew she was ready to move on (it's just a normal gummy vitamin, but I give it at night) you want your night night gummy? 21 mo: yeah okay, we can do gummy we do gummy, then what's after gummy? 21 mo: "brush teeth!" brush teeth! then...? 21 mo: "a gummy" gummy, still gummy? 21 mo: here And now she's leading the charge on starting her bedtime routine Here? You wanna go? up, help mommy get up pull me, pull me, use your muscles! Less than 3 minutes in, she's yelling "yay!!" okay, let's get ready for bed. Yay! 21 mo: "Yay!"

Original caption

Tantrums can feel like the most difficult part of parenting, but once you know the steps for de-escalating and managing them using co-regulation, they’re actually pretty quick & easy! My 1.5 YO and 3.5 YO tantrum regularly, but their tantrums last under 5 minutes and each time they happen, I feel like we make a lot of progress when it comes to accepting boundaries and learning how to emotionally regulate. Most importantly, I love that this approach deepens our relationship and trust every time instead of undermining it 💗 Head to the 🔗 in my bio or hhsleep.com to download my Taming Tantrums Mini Guide that will teach you exactly how to manage and de-escalate your child’s tantrum in 10 simple steps ✨ it’s just $5! Once you have the tools, you won’t be afraid of your little one reacting to your boundaries with tantrums, because they’ll be over so fast #momsofig #tantrums #toddler #creatorsearchinsights #toddlermom Calm response for toddler tantrum Moms helping moms Gentle parenting example Gentle discipline that actually works What to say during meltdowns How to handle a toddler’s tantrums

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Transcript

Right before this, I made my toddler stop watching Pocahontas because she kept randomly screaming, so a tantrum ensued 21 MO: inaudible crying With tantrums, you NEED to remain calm & not give any sort of dramatic reaction 21 MO: you hug! I start by regulating myself & then I sit on the floor as an invitation 21 MO: still whimpering And just like that, she walked over to sit in my lap & stopped the scream crying 21 MO: still whimpering Next, I give hugs and kisses with little to no talking 21 MO: still whimpering And after that, I start to model deep breathing so she'll copy me Speeding it up... I keep going until she stops crying completely I could hear her doing deep breaths btw love you movie is all done Once she's calm, I go back to what the tantrum was about & explain WHY she can't have or do something you were yelling and you were not being kind to us movie is all finished Then I re-state the boundary: "the movie is all finished" movie is all finished I keep giving physical affection while explaining in a very soothing voice if she is calm enough to listen you were not having good behavior 21 mo: "I [want] Nono!" If she responds to me, I empathize and confirm that I understand what she wants even though she can't have it but you are not having kind behavior so we're all done now with movie time is finished After that, I go back to deep breathing Usually explaining makes her mad again, but that's okay. She needs to understand why she got a consequence are you angry about it? I always label my kids' emotions and ask how they're feeling 21 mo: yeah pee? what are you? tell me how you're feeling 21 mo: "happy" And apparently she's happy now 🤣 you're happy? 21 mo: yeah yeah? okay good I'm glad you're happy now. good Then she moved on to something else, so I encouraged her to shift her attention & tried to lighten the mood that was quick 21 mo: "I get clothes!" You're gonna get your night night clothes? you're gonna get your jammies? Oh, you wanna CLOSE Noelle's drawer pull that thing up high fives? When she walked over, I put my arms back out for a hug, but she wanted a high five ✋ yeah good job! it's about to be bedtime 21 mo: "sit down" you want me to put my lap down? say, "lap down" Then she wanted more cuddles on my lap, but my kids (including my toddler) need to ask me to do things nicely 21 mo: "lap down" I like to cuddle you I'm so happy to cuddle you 21 mo: "I want gummy" Then she started asking for her "night night gummy" so I knew she was ready to move on (it's just a normal gummy vitamin, but I give it at night) you want your night night gummy? 21 mo: yeah okay, we can do gummy we do gummy, then what's after gummy? 21 mo: "brush teeth!" brush teeth! then...? 21 mo: "a gummy" gummy, still gummy? 21 mo: here And now she's leading the charge on starting her bedtime routine Here? You wanna go? up, help mommy get up pull me, pull me, use your muscles! Less than 3 minutes in, she's yelling "yay!!" okay, let's get ready for bed. Yay! 21 mo: "Yay!"