THE MORE MEN HIT ON YOU, THE LESS SPECIAL YOU ARE

I think a lot of women confuse being sexualised with being desired, because when I was bigger and deeply insecure, I got approached a lot more. And no, I wasn't constantly wolf whistled or cat called, ever. Because I think, to be fair, I always carried myself in a way that made most men feel like they couldn't get away with that. Talking about normal approaches, the, "Excuse me, miss, I don't mean to interrupt you, but I thought you were beautiful. Can I get your number? Can I take you out?" That sort of thing. And then I came across a TikTok that made me think, the girl was basically saying that men don't approach women they find most attractive, they approach women they think they have a realistic chance with. Especially when they go to the gym. You'll see that she's disciplined, dedicated, won't take no shit, because she has to, you know, get her protein in. Eight hours of sleep in. And whether that's true or not, it made me look back at my own experience. Because I kid you not, since losing weight, getting fitter, dressing better and carrying myself with more confidence than ever, it basically never happens. No random approaches, no men stopping me in the street, nothing. And the funny thing is, if social media is to be believed, that should mean the opposite. We're constantly told that men can't control themselves around attractive women. But that hasn't been my experience at all. What I've actually noticed is that when a woman clearly has standards, discipline, self-respect, and her life together, a lot of men won't even bother. Not because they're scared or because they're intimidated, because they don't think they're likely to succeed. And if we're being completely honest, most men approaching a stranger in the street aren't thinking, "Oh, I'd love to marry her." They're thinking, "Would she give me a chance?" And they're two different things. Attention isn't the same thing as attraction, and attraction isn't the same thing as access. Some women are drowning in attention because everyone thinks they're available. Some women get less attention because everyone assumes they're not. And what's really interesting is that if you speak to genuinely beautiful woman, a lot of them will tell you they actually get approached far less than people assume. They rarely even get complimented. Often they don't even realise they're as pretty as they actually are because everyone else assumes somebody has already beaten them to it and that they constantly get told the same thing.