The bar for what parents expect their kids to do these days is on the floor

@kendraworth

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Why it worked

The video resonated with parents by offering practical, actionable advice on fostering independence and responsibility in young children, presented in a relatable and engaging "day in the life" format.

Summary

The creator outlines the daily expectations and responsibilities for her almost 6-year-old daughter, emphasizing independence and age-appropriate tasks from morning to night. The video details routines for getting dressed, breakfast, chores, packing snacks, and bedtime, highlighting how setting high expectations fosters capability and responsibility.

Structure

1Morning routine: dressing, breakfast, and chores
2School day preparation: packing snacks and backpack
3After-school responsibilities: unpacking, dishes, and kitchen cleanup
4Evening routine: dinner, table setting, and bedtime preparations
5Bedtime wind-down and independent sleep

Call to action

Follow for part two and three

On-screen text

The bar for what parents expect their kids to do these days is on the floor One thing you learn in a teaching masters is that kids will meet whatever expectations you set for them And I have found that to be extremely true as long as they are developmentally appropriate of course Let's start with me expectations for my almost 6 YO kindergartener Let's start with my kindergartener, who's almost 6, and what I expect her to do on a daily basis Let's just go from morning to night to make it easier When she wakes up, *this also means she knows how to get out her clothes and dress herself she's gotta come down the stairs dressed She gotta tell me what she wants for breakfast, and then get all of her dishes out herself and set her place at the table If it's something she can make, like toast with butter or cereal She's gonna do that and I'm not gonna do it at all She also helps me cook on the stove pretty often and will help with prep & chopping then she's gonna wait patiently for me to make it Next, she's gonna help me unload the dishwasher and put the dishes away She's gonna do all the kid dishes because she can reach where they go, I organize my house for maximum independence, so kid dishes & cups are in low drawers and then I'll do the grown up dishes After she eats, she's gotta put her dishes next to the sink, and then she needs to pack her own snack I allow her to have one packaged snack, one protein, and then one fruit or veg So she could have, like, turkey slices or an apple or cucumbers Then she needs to pack her backpack herself with her snack and her water After that's done, she gotta bring me the stuff to brush and detangle her hair And then she brushes her teeth by herself I try to build logical "rewards" into their daily routines, so if they finish their morning tasks, they can play If she's got a bunch of extra time, then she can play If not, she's going straight to socks and shoes and she's gonna put those on by herself as well Then she's gotta get her backpack and walk to school (with her dad) When school is over, I pick her up, she buckles herself in the car, she unbuckles herself when she gets home And then she needs to unpack her backpack Her folder needs to be open on the island so I can see anything that's inside of it She's gotta put any containers that I need to wash in the sink She's gotta put her freezer pack in the freezer She's gotta put her shoes in the cabinet, socks in the dirty clothes, and then she can play We do NOT do any screen time in the morning or after school & I think that really helps my kids be regulated & play independently And then my girls play together for, like, one or two hours, I start dinner When I'm almost done with dinner, everybody's gotta set the table (including my toddler) So my two older girls will choose that they either do forks or napkins And they've gotta get their own drinks if they're able to And if they're not able to, they've gotta tell me what drink they want before I sit down for dinner I also build in logical consequences, so if they forget to ask for their drink, they will have to wait until I'm done eating (there are always water bottles around so I'm not withholding hydration) Cause if I am already sitting to eat, I'm not getting up And they're just not gonna have a drink for dinner unless they get it themselves at that point After dinner, everybody's dishes have to go in the sink I've been teaching her how to load it correctly & showed her YouTube videos of the inside of a dishwasher so she understood how it works And then my almost 6 year old needs to help me load the dishwasher and help me clean up the kitchen Now because she has the most responsibility It may seem unfair that my oldest does the most, but as the oldest, she is the most capable she also gets the most rewards Because I don't wanna create a Cinderella situation where she feels like she does everything and doesn't get anything for it And I definitely don't want her to build any resentment toward her sisters or toward me and her dad After the kitchen's clean, I take the younger ones up for bed and then my older daughter can choose to go to bed at that time or choose to stay up and help clean up the whole house, all the toys with my husband Once she's done with the cleaning, as long as she is done by 8:00 PM, Another logical consequence: if she cleans too slowly and is unfocused, she doesn't earn then she can have a little bit of fun time with me and her dad Sometimes she gets to watch a show together This is the only screen time my older girls can earn & we only give a show as an option 2-3 times a week. Friday is always family movie night tho! We were watching Downtown Abbey, but we finished it and now we're watching Little House in the Prairie Or we just do some kind of fun activity A game, coloring, reading books together, whatever she wants At 8:30 it's time for her to head up to bed And then she brushes her own teeth, puts on her own pajamas, picks a book, comes to bed I'll read her one book. We do brief hug and kiss She goes to bed by herself, listens to her stories She has a reading light + Yoto player + wall bookshelf with sticker & reading books to help her wind down She has a little lamp on her top bunk and she also has sticker books & other books to read through so she doesn't have to sleep, but she does have to start to rest and chill until she's tired and then she goes to bed Follow for part two and three where I talk about what I expect of my almost 4 year old and my almost 2 year old.

Original caption

The bar for what we expect kids to be able to do is so low these days. And here's the thing—kids rise to whatever expectations we set for them Research backs this up: children develop competence and responsibility when we give them real contributions to the family (not just "busy work"). But most parents are wildly underestimating what their kids are capable of. We see the mess they make and assume they can't clean it up, when really we just haven't consistently taught them how to do it In our house, we've built daily routines where chores and responsibilities aren't optional—they're part of how our family runs. And we keep it simple & developmentally appropriate for each child: clear expectations, natural consequences, and built-in rewards that actually mean something to each child. When they follow through, they see the direct benefit. When they don't, they feel the consequence (not punishment—just reality). So stop thinking of chores as tasks we're forcing them to do and start treating them as skills and habits we're building. Kids are capable of so much more than we give them credit for and they NEED you to set the bar at a high level to become competent & capable adults. Some other expectations I missed: Cleaning up after herself throughout the day: trash needs to immediately go in the garbage , dirty clothes need to go in the hamper, clean clothes go back in her drawers, etc. She also needs to speak to me kindly (and I set the same expectation for myself in how I speak to her) Make sure to follow me for all things REAL gentle parenting & no-tears sleep training. You can head to hhsleep.com or the 🔗 in my bio to for more parenting & sleep resources #momchats #momtok #momshelpingmoms #disciplined #strictparents How to be a strict parent How to discipline toddlers How to discipline preschoolers Logical consequence examples Examples of logical consequences Trying gentle parent How to be a good parent

More from @kendraworth

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Transcript

The bar for what parents expect their kids to do these days is on the floor. One thing you learn in a teaching masters is that kids will meet whatever expectations you set for them. And I have found that to be extremely true, as long as they are developmentally appropriate, of course. Let's start with me expectations for my almost 6 YO kindergartener. Let's start with my kindergartener, who's almost 6, and what I expect her to do on a daily basis. Let's just go from morning to night to make it easier. When she wakes up, *this also means she knows how to get out her clothes and dress herself. She's gotta come down the stairs dressed. She gotta tell me what she wants for breakfast, and then get all of her dishes out herself and set her place at the table. If it's something she can make, like toast with butter or cereal, she's gonna do that and I'm not gonna do it at all. She also helps me cook on the stove pretty often and will help with prep & chopping. Then she's gonna wait patiently for me to make it. Next, she's gonna help me unload the dishwasher and put the dishes away. She's gonna do all the kid dishes because she can reach where they go. I organize my house for maximum independence, so kid dishes & cups are in low drawers, and then I'll do the grown-up dishes. After she eats, she's gotta put her dishes next to the sink, and then she needs to pack her own snack. I allow her to have one packaged snack, one protein, and then one fruit or veg. So she could have, like, turkey slices or an apple or cucumbers. Then she needs to pack her backpack herself with her snack and her water. After that's done, she gotta bring me the stuff to brush and detangle her hair. And then she brushes her teeth by herself. I try to build logical "rewards" into their daily routines, so if they finish their morning tasks, they can play. If she's got a bunch of extra time, then she can play. If not, she's going straight to socks and shoes, and she's gonna put those on by herself as well. Then she's gotta get her backpack and walk to school (with her dad). When school is over, I pick her up. She buckles herself in the car. She unbuckles herself when she gets home. And then she needs to unpack her backpack. Her folder needs to be open on the island so I can see anything that's inside of it. She's gotta put any containers that I need to wash in the sink. She's gotta put her freezer pack in the freezer. She's gotta put her shoes in the cabinet, socks in the dirty clothes, and then she can play. We do NOT do any screen time in the morning or after school & I think that really helps my kids be regulated & play independently. And then my girls play together for, like, one or two hours. I start dinner. When I'm almost done with dinner, everybody's gotta set the table (including my toddler). So my two older girls will choose that they either do forks or napkins. And they've gotta get their own drinks if they're able to. And if they're not able to, they've gotta tell me what drink they want before I sit down for dinner. I also build in logical consequences, so if they forget to ask for their drink, they will have to wait until I'm done eating (there are always water bottles around so I'm not withholding hydration). Cause if I am already sitting to eat, I'm not getting up. And they're just not gonna have a drink for dinner unless they get it themselves at that point. After dinner, everybody's dishes have to go in the sink. I've been teaching her how to load it correctly & showed her YouTube videos of the inside of a dishwasher so she understood how it works. And then my almost 6 year old needs to help me load the dishwasher and help me clean up the kitchen. Now because she has the most responsibility, it may seem unfair that my oldest does the most, but as the oldest, she is the most capable. She also gets the most rewards. Because I don't wanna create a Cinderella situation where she feels like she does everything and doesn't get anything for it. And I definitely don't want her to build any resentment toward her sisters or toward me and her dad. After the kitchen's clean, I take the younger ones up for bed. And then my older daughter can choose to go to bed at that time or choose to stay up and help clean up the whole house, all the toys with my husband. Once she's done with the cleaning, as long as she is done by 8:00 PM, then she can have a little bit of fun time with me and her dad. Sometimes she gets to watch a show together. This is the only screen time my older girls can earn & we only give a show as an option 2-3 times a week. Friday is always family movie night tho! We were watching Downtown Abbey, but we finished it. And now we're watching Little House in the Prairie. Or we just do some kind of fun activity: A game, coloring, reading books together, whatever she wants. At 8:30 it's time for her to head up to bed. And then she brushes her own teeth, puts on her own pajamas, picks a book, comes to bed. I'll read her one book. We do brief hug and kiss. She goes to bed by herself, listens to her stories. She has a reading light + Yoto player + wall bookshelf with sticker & reading books to help her wind down. She has a little lamp on her top bunk, and she also has sticker books & other books to read through. So she doesn't have to sleep, but she does have to start to rest and chill until she's tired and then she goes to bed. Follow for part two and three where I talk about what I expect of my almost 4 year old and my almost 2 year old.