MARRIAGE WAS NEVER DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

I think one of the biggest lies we've been sold is that the purpose of marriage is to be happy. That if your marriage isn't making you happy every single day, then maybe you married the wrong person. Maybe you've fallen out of love. Maybe it's time to leave and go find someone who gives you butterflies again. But I don't think that's what marriage was ever designed to be. If you're Christian, I believe the purpose of marriage isn't happiness, it's holiness. And before you kick off, I'm not saying marriage shouldn't make you happy. I think a healthy marriage should bring you an incredible amount of joy. Yes. I just don't think happiness is the goal. I think it's the reward that often comes from two people becoming more patient, more humble, more forgiving, more like Christ. Because love, in the sense of where we talk about it today, it's mostly a feeling. And feelings are unreliable. Some days you wake up completely in love with your spouse. And other days you're tired, you're stressed, you have an argument, the kids have kept you awake all night, money is tight, work is overwhelming. And his breathing is pissing you off so much you want to leave the room. But does that mean the marriage has failed? Of course not. It means you're human. That's why I don't think marriages survive because two people stop feeling in love. I think they survive because two people have something so much deeper than their emotions, keeping them together. And that's God. Because when God is at the centre of your marriage, your question changes. You stop waking up asking, why hasn't my husband done this, knowing it would make me happy? You start asking, how can I love my spouse in a way that honours God today? Brings that responsibility back to you and takes away the ego. Two completely different mindsets. One is centred in what you can receive, and the other one is centred in what you can give. When God is your standard, you forgive even when your ego is screaming not to. You apologise even when you'd rather prove that you're right. You choose patience rather than frustration, even though that's easier. You serve each other even when you don't feel like it. Not because your spouse has earned it that day, but because that's who you want to become. And here's the irony. I think that's exactly where happiness comes from. Not from chasing it, but from becoming the kind of person who creates it. So, no, I don't think the happiest marriages are the ones where two people spend everyday trying to make each other happy. I think they're the ones where two imperfect people spend everyday trying to become more like Christ. And somewhere along the way, they discover a happiness that's much deeper than a feeling. The peace that comes from knowing your marriage isn't built on emotions. It's built on something that doesn't ever change.